Ask The Astrosexologist: “Will My Virgo Ex Ever Want Me Back Or Should I Move On?”
My Virgo ex-boyfriend and I dated for over a year and a half. We met in high school, when he was a senior and I was a junior. He left for college, but we wanted to stay together, so we tried a long-distance relationship. For the majority of that year, everything worked out well … but then he changed. A lot. He chopped off all his hair and became the epitome of a “frat boy” even though he never joined one. I tried to suppress my feelings, thinking that it was just freshman year experiences and I couldn’t say anything because when I went to college I’d probably change too. As far as I know, he never cheated, but he did become increasingly distant.
I’m a Sagittarius, and I’ve tried so hard to make him happy. I tried being there for him when he was upset or stressed, but he eventually stopped telling me about his problems altogether. I gave him space when he asked for it, and I backed off when I sensed he was frustrated. Whenever we talked about taking a break, I wanted it to last a substantial amount of time, to be sure that we knew we still wanted to be with each other, but after two days he called me and wanted to end the break because he still wanted to be with me. Two weeks later, he dumped me. He told me that he’ll always love me and wants to be friends, yet he won’t even talk to me. He won’t give me any answers as to why we broke up. He keeps denying that anything ever changed and we just fell apart.
I ended up attending the same college as him, and right now I’m absolutely miserable. I’m considering transferring schools, but honestly, if there were any way that we would get back together, I would stay. He also told me that after he had ended it, he wanted to get back together, but his friends advised him against it. No matter how much I lie and pretend, he knows that I want to get back together. We haven’t talked since the breakup. Is there any way he’d ever come back, later down the road? I miss him so much. – Hopelessly Stuck
Breaking up is no walk in the park and despite how much you care about him, for now you are going to have to put him out of your mind and not make decisions based around him. Staying at the same school or just holding out and longing for him won’t win him back. He has chosen what he wants and it sounds like he is sorting out who he is and if that means being on his own, you have to respect that.
As a Sagittarius, you like to avoid thinking the worst, as your sign represents the optimist, but that doesn’t mean you should delude yourself with fantasies that he will come back and be who you once thought he was. Time has passed, he is moving forward, and what was will never be again. Sure, he may have second-guessed himself and wanted to come back, but he hasn’t — talk is cheap. Plus, the fact that he let his friends tell him to stay away? Do you really want to be with a guy who is going to let his friends advise him on personal decisions like this? No. Besides, it sounds more like he is trying to pass the blame to them instead of taking it himself, because he thinks it will lessen his responsibility in hurting you. That says tons about his maturity level.
As it goes, Virgos are people pleasers and they want to maintain a perfect image in the eyes of those they care about. They will say a lot of things that will contradict their behavior, especially when it comes to testy situations like a breakup. No matter, at this point, you have to sort out your life and move on. If you hold onto him, the more it will kill your chance at happiness. Not to say you can’t get back together, but at this point you have to take it at face value and put yourself back at the top of your priority list. After all, if you do want a great relationship in your life, be it with him or anyone, you have to be the best that you can be. That’s not happening so long as you stay in this emotional rut. Astrologically speaking, until January 22, 2011 you will have Jupiter, the planet of expansion, in your house of balance, which makes it your perfect time to sort out your own peace of mind, because without that, you won’t ever be happy with yourself or with another.
Got a question for our Astrosexologist, Kiki T? Email [email protected] and be sure to include any astrological information about yourself and any other people involved in your query. For a quicker fix on mastering your man, read Kiki’s astral opus, The Celestial Sexpot’s Handbook. Plus, now you can follow Kiki T on Twitter for astrological updates, as they happen!