Yesterday, I broke down the “Signs You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Hoochie Mama.” But in the interest of gender equality, I’m gonna bust man-whores too. So, dudes, you might be a playa if ….
- You say things like “This is where the magic happens”, but you’re just pointing to your crotch.
- Your underwear is more expensive than the “date” you go on.
- Your favorite color is leopard print.
- You swear by Spanish Fly.
- If the FBI sent a single one of your pubes to the lab, they’d get multiple DNA samples.
- Your body has built up an immunity to crabs.
- Your fave pair of pants are tear-away.
- You’re not sure which Kate you’re calling, but it doesn’t matter.
- You chase after more p**sy on the street than animal control.
- You hang out with a lot of chicks at a time so odds are you can get one of them to do you.
- You spend more time in da club than you do on da job.
- Your fave cologne is a mix of Axe body spray and skank.
- You wear sunglasses at night, not because you think it makes you look cooler, just because it makes more girls look hot.
- None of your guy friends will let you within 10 feet of their sister.
- You’ve had more drinks thrown on you than a wet T-shirt contest winner.
- Your peen is the American equivalent of the Blarney Stone.
- Your wang gets as much grease as your hair.
- You think the subwoofer is an oral sex position.
