18 Signs You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Player

Yesterday, I broke down the “Signs You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Hoochie Mama.” But in the interest of gender equality, I’m gonna bust man-whores too. So, dudes, you might be a playa if ….

  1. You say things like “This is where the magic happens”, but you’re just pointing to your crotch.
  2. Your underwear is more expensive than the “date” you go on.
  3. Your favorite color is leopard print.
  4. You swear by Spanish Fly.
  5. If the FBI sent a single one of your pubes to the lab, they’d get multiple DNA samples.
  6. Your body has built up an immunity to crabs.
  7. Your fave pair of pants are tear-away.
  8. You’re not sure which Kate you’re calling, but it doesn’t matter.
  9. You chase after more p**sy on the street than animal control.
  10. You hang out with a lot of chicks at a time so odds are you can get one of them to do you.
  11. You spend more time in da club than you do on da job.
  12. Your fave cologne is a mix of Axe body spray and skank.
  13. You wear sunglasses at night, not because you think it makes you look cooler, just because it makes more girls look hot.
  14. None of your guy friends will let you within 10 feet of their sister.
  15. You’ve had more drinks thrown on you than a wet T-shirt contest winner.
  16. Your peen is the American equivalent of the Blarney Stone.
  17. Your wang gets as much grease as your hair.
  18. You think the subwoofer is an oral sex position.