• Sex

When Guys Fake It

Ever since “When Harry Met Sally,” faking orgasms has been considered a totally female thing. After all, why would a guy fake an orgasm? And how? But a new study has found that more men then you’d think pretend during sex. When Live Science surveyed more than 200 college students, 25 percent of the men reported faking it (compared with 50 percent of women). The main reasons men fake orgasms? Either they didn’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings or they felt the sex was taking too long. Rather than deal with the awkwardness of saying, “I don’t want to keep having sex,” men instead will fake an orgasm. And thanks to the prevalence of condoms, they can do so without a woman being suspicious. The study, conducted at the University of Kansas, shows that sexual performance anxiety and the pressure to “enjoy” sex aren’t purely female notions. Researchers concluded that both men and women who admitted to faking it ascribed to a belief in a sexual “script” — the idea that sex is supposed to be performed in a particular sequence and way. In the dominant script, both men and women are supposed to be able to orgasm during intercourse. And many women — around 20 percent in the study — believe that there is a proper sequence to sex, one in which the woman orgasms before or during her partner’s orgasm. So that means that, hypothetically, women could be faking orgasms to men faking orgasms.

But Carol Ellison, the author of Women’s Sexualities: Generations of Women Share Intimate Secrets of Sexual Self-Acceptance, thinks that’s dangerous thinking. She told Fox News that “when sex is a performance, and when sex has performance goals — erection, intercourse, orgasms — it’s problematic.”

Instead, Ellison advocates that sex be about mutual pleasure — in whatever form that takes for you and your partner. Tell us: Have you ever been with a guy whom you suspected faked it? [Salon]

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