The 5 Stages Of Dealing With Getting Stood Up
Nobody likes to get stood up! But it does happen. And if you date long enough, it’s bound to happen. It’s so embarrassing. You get left at a restaurant, the dude never shows, the man of your dreams just doesn’t call. No matter what the situation is, here are the five stages of dealing with a dating no-show.
- Acceptance. He’s not in the hospital. His mother did not suddenly fall gravely ill. He did not lose his crackberry and has no way of contacting you. He. Stood. You. Up. Do not call the local hospitals. Do not call him. Do not call your mother. You have been stood up. Accept it. Then you can move on.
- Embarrassment. Now that you’ve actually accepted the reality of what happened, you have to feel it before you move past it. Your level of humiliation will depend on several factors. How far the relationship was along. Where you were stood up. Your confidence level. If you were feeling low already, you’d been dating for a while, and he left you hanging in the middle of a romantic restaurant to sit by yourself at a candlelit table for two, this may be an unpleasant experience. If you were at home, it was the first or second date, and you don’t give a holy hell, this shouldn’t be too bad. After you’ve embraced it, let it go.
- Anger. Do not throw something, especially your new iPhone. Call up your girlfriend to rage if you must, but remember it’s only going to increase your stress level. Reaching out to the guy who stood you up to holler at him will probably leave a bad taste in your mouth in the future. Take up kickboxing or meditate during yoga class, but don’t let your fury get the best of you. Breathe, girlfriend.
- Moving On. There’s a saying that men are like buses, and what you need to do is get on the next one. No need to dwell on the dude of the past when there’s another better ride coming down the avenue. It doesn’t matter what you do, but don’t turtle, decide you’ll never date again, or play the victim. At least you’ve gotten the experience of getting stood up over with, right?
- Why Me? It’s tempting to want to figure out why this happened. Are you a dog? Is he a dog? Are all people dogs? Do you have a limp? Is he an emotional cripple? Did you say something wrong? Who cares? It doesn’t matter why it happened, and there’s only one lesson to be learned: Standing someone up is a lame move. Be glad he spared you the rest.