Dear Wendy Updates: Curious Cat Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from Curious Cat who was engaged to one man but considering having an affair with another man — a man who happened to be her ex-husband’s best friend as well as the fiancé of a former friend. After the jump, find out if she followed our advice to just say “no,” or if she gave into temptation and satisfied her curiosity.

So I wish that I could say that I listened to you and some of the people that commented about my situation — even myself for that matter since I knew that I should have stayed away from it altogether. The sad thing is that I did tell the guy that I couldn’t have an affair with him initially because I figured I wouldn’t be able to live with myself for cheating on my boyfriend. This lasted a couple of months, but the guy was very persistent and kept emailing me wanting to know if I had changed my mind. For whatever reason, and I’m honestly not sure why, I gave into temptation and we hooked up twice. I don’t understand it myself, but after the second time, I told him yet again, that I couldn’t see him anymore. I was hoping that would be the end of it, but recently he has begun to email me again wanting to know why we can’t continue and at this point I’m thinking I might need to change my email in order to get away from his advances. Of course, I don’t know how much good that will do me when he knows where I live, has my cell phone number, and knows I have Facebook.

I’m trying to understand what made me decide to give into temptation. I wish I knew exactly, but I really have no clue. The only thing I can think of is that I felt lonely and the thought of him wanting me excited me. It hasn’t been easy for me since I allowed this to happen and I haven’t told my boyfriend about it because I don’t want to lose him, though it seems clear that I don’t exactly deserve him. I’m just trying to put it behind me, but at the same time I’m trying to understand my behavior. This isn’t something I want to do ever again. Anyway, thanks for trying to help me. — Curious Cat

If you’re lonely and looking for excitement elsewhere, I’d say that’s a pretty big red flag when it comes to your relationship with your fiancé. Your behavior isn’t that hard to figure out. You’ve got issues in your relationship that you’re actively trying to avoid and you thought this affair might help you accomplish that. Except it didn’t. Readers, any words of wisdom for our friend CC?

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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