Dear Wendy Updates: “Sudden Shock” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Sudden Shock,” who wanted to know what she could do to salvage her relationship after her boyfriend of two weeks suddenly dumped her. After the jump, find out if she’s managed to move on yet or not.

I wrote to you several weeks ago about my boyfriend of two weeks breaking up with me very suddenly. Since I had stated that I have been in several relationships before, some commenters questioned if I considered a few dates a relationship. And someone else questioned if it was ever official between this guy and me. For the record, my longest relationship was nearly 4 years, and I clearly know that two weeks is nothing. But he practically lived with me for the first week we were dating (and yes, we were “official”). It was a very new type of relationship to me, as it was my first healthy one, and it felt so different and real from the beginning. But I also felt like he was a little too clingy and needy for me. But for whatever reason, I’m no longer what he wanted, and I completely get that. And your advice and the other comments certainly helped. It wasn’t easy as it was my first time being broken up with, but just reading the blunt comments helped with that.

I can say now that I’m over him, and I now see so many issues with him that I failed to see, even when it was mentioned to me. We still talk regularly as we do have some mutual friends and it works well this way. After visiting the city where I grew up one weekend a few weeks back, I met an amazing guy whom I really connected with. Despite it being long distance, we are going to try a relationship and so I made plans to spend my entire winter break in his area to see where things go. Anyway, I’m glad things have worked out, and that I have found someone worthwhile and good for me, as I have had a bad track record for so many years and that started to change when I met my ex. Thanks a bunch!

Well, it still seems strange that you’d call someone you were with for two weeks an “ex.” And, given your “bad track record,” and how fast it seems you jump into things, I’m a little concerned you think you’ve “found someone” after one weekend with this new guy, but if you feel happy and empowered, then good for you. I guess. But … be careful! There’s nothing wrong with taking things slow and getting to know someone before you start planning your future together. And there’s definitely nothing wrong with taking a break from dating and getting to know yourself a little, too.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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