I think it’s safe to say I don’t have a future in politics, and if the climate stays the same — where anything and everything from your past can and will be used against you or the person you love — then any future spouse of mine doesn’t either. For the last three years, I’ve shared a lot on the internet as the editor of The Frisky, as well as on social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. Given what’s happened to political candidates like Krystal Ball (whose funny but racy Facebook pics were unearthed by her rival in a Virginia congressional campaign) and Delaware senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell (whose fairly chaste sleepover with a guy three years ago was described in an anonymously penned expose on Gawker.com), people who would be out to smear me wouldn’t know where to begin with what I’ve willingly put on the web.Let’s see … I’ve done a video for this site in which I try on bras. And another where I wonder what a woman’s vagina smells like, considering she’s a hoarder. I’ve shared 25 things about my sexuality, including that I’ve thrown up twice while giving blow jobs (but not during the one I gave in a very public stairwell), that I love to be spanked, and that I once masturbated in the back seat of a car while my parents drove our family to the Grand Canyon.
I confessed to hitting my ex-boyfriend, violating his privacy by reading his email, and kinda, sorta Facebook-stalking his new girlfriend. There’s a photo of me on Facebook from a photo shoot I did for Maxim where I look like a sex doll. I’ve hinted that I’ve tried certain drugs, though I haven’t boasted about doing them (but I haven’t expressed regret either).
Oh yes, and there’s a lovely gentleman who runs a woman-hating website that has spent a disturbing amount of his own time slandering me with claims that I “encourage child rape.” While untrue, obvs, I loathe the idea that there could be a day when I actually have to defend myself against that nonsense. Of course, I like to think that while any hypothetical enemies could certainly try to slut-shame the heck out of me, they wouldn’t be able to point out any hypocrisy. Whether the voters would care — who knows?
Luckily, I don’t have any desire to be a politician or a politician’s spouse so, you know, no harm done. Occasionally, I worry that what I’ve shared on the internet — and what other people have written about me — will get me in trouble down the line, but then I realize everyone, in some way, has done the same. And if we’ve all done it, can’t we just give each other a pass? Yeah, fat chance.
So tell us: Could you be a politician or a politician’s spouse or is there too much about you on the internet that could present a potential, uh, problem?