Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Kendra Wilkinson A Single Mom? Taylor Swift A Man-Eater?

This week’s tabloid are brimming with celebrity Halloween costumes, but we already covered that. What you won’t find in these pages is any mention of yesterday’s election—not even Bristol Palin gets her usual shout-out. Instead, the gossip mags are full of much more important business, like what the heck is going on with Charlie Sheen? And what is Taylor Swift hiding? So stay an informed citizen and read up on what is happening in the celebiverse this week. Unfortunately, there is no voting involved.

  • Kendra Wilkinson is apparently doing the child rearing of son Hank with little help from his NFL daddy, Hank Baskett. But Baskett is no deadbeat dad; he is just one who is constantly on the move. Over the past two years, the couple has lived in seven different homes as Baskett bounced around the football world. Kendra made the decision to move to California with her son to have a stable place to live while Baskett moves on to Minnesota to play for the Vikings. Wilkinson says the hardest part of being separated is not having her hubby around to cook killer steaks. And the possibility that Baskett might miss a baby milestone. Kendra fesses up to gently pushing baby Hank to the ground when he looks like he is about take his first steps, instructing him to, “Wait for daddy!” Yeah, because that won’t mess up his psychological and physical development at all.
  • Courteney Cox chatted for the first time since the separation about the state of her relationship with David Arquette. She stayed vague, saying, “I don’t know what will happen, but this is not like were getting divorced.” While the public seems to take this as a sign of reconciliation, Cox’s friends say it is all just talk. The anonymous sources claim that the pair don’t get along and only pretend to be happy for their daughter, Coco. So the question remains—do I believe the unnamed sources or Cox’s carefully controlled PR statements? Hmm.
  • Life & Style sent out their top detectives and found out the real reasons why Rihanna was MIA from best bud Katy Perry’s wedding. Though RiRi claims that she had to do some time sensitive album work, L&S is positive that it was a huge fight between Rihanna and boyfriend Matt Kemp that kept the singer away from the nuptials. The blow-out was supposedly about Rihanna and ex-beau Drake getting cozy again and it left Rihanna so heartbroken she couldn’t handle being up close and personal with marital bliss. I bet you Katy is not loving the way her best friend lied. [Life & Style]

  • Let’s hope that Carey Mulligan has a double bed at her post-breakup Best Western, because she is supposedly shacking up with a new man. British actor Tom Sturridge “totally clicked” with Carey after being introduced by mutual friend Keira Knightley. While some claim that Mulligan has rebounded from Shia too fast, friends say the old relationship was pretty distant toward the end, and that it’s good she might have found a new man. I say get it done, Carey!
  • For those of you who were plagued by nightmares last week after finding out that Justin Timberlake might be cheating on Jessica Biel, you will be happy to know the couple is “holding on.” Justin has denied that he had any kind of tryst with Olivia Munn, and told Jessica that the tabloids are after him on the heels of “The Social Network.” The couple of four years jetted off to British Columbia to have a romantic vacation in the mountains before Biel started filming there. Jessica’s friends and the gossip mags are saying that the actress is silly to stay, but apparently Biel is convinced that the former N*SYNCer is “the one.”
  • Taylor Swift is getting some Angelina Jolie tabloid treatment. Star has dedicated an entire article to calling the country singer a “player” and “man-eater.” Taylor is no longer the victim of conniving men like John Mayer, but is actually an unfeeling heart-breaker who seeks out men for the thrill of the hunt. Of course, this makes Jake Gyllenhaal her newest conquest. Insiders say he should be prepared to chase Swift only to be dumped and then trashed in a song. So ladies, hide your sons. Taylor Swift is on the loose and hungry for the souls of young men. Rawr. [Star]

  • Baby bump watchers rejoiced when Mariah Carey finally fessed up to having a bun in the oven last week. Now, Carey explains to Us that she stayed silent about the pregnancy for so long because of a miscarriage two years ago. She and Nick Cannon then spent the next year “taking it one day at a time” and focusing on Mariah’s new album so she could feel accomplished while she tried to get pregnant again. Carey says that daily acupuncture kept her stress levels down during that time, but now it’s pizza and McDonald’s cheeseburgers that put her mind and pregnancy cravings at ease. The only complaints Mariah has of pregnancy is the nausea and weight gain. It’s OK, Mariah. Every woman needs to take a break from the booty shorts at some point. You had a good run.
  • Kate Gosselin is back and according to Us Weekly her Halloween costume this year was bad mommy. Supposedly, the infamous mom of eight spent her kids’ trick-or-treat time asleep in the front seat of her car, while her bodyguard drove the brood around the neighborhood. The kids were told to kept quiet while Kate slept and are said to have finished the night with frowns on their faces.
  • Kristin Cavallari, remember her? Well, it seems ever since “The Hills“‘ demise, not many do. Kristen is said to have stopped by a Chicago store with her man Jay Cutler looking for free stuff because of her celebrity status. When the employees of the store refused to offer handouts, Cavallari became furious and yelled the classic washed-up celeb line, “You don’t know who I am?” They didn’t or they didn’t care. Either way, Kristen exited the store in a huff, leaving her beau behind to apologize. [Us Weekly]

  • People magazine keeps things literary this week, focusing on two celebrity books. First, they looked at Portia De Rossi’s memoir about her struggle with anorexia, Unbearable Lightness. The 5’6″ star shares that at her thinnest she was trying to live off 150 calories a day. De Rossi says landing her role on “Ally McBeal” pushed her to extremes. She felt like she wasn’t a fit for the sexy leading role, and was constantly worried that the media would out her as a gay woman. The pressure she put on herself led to binging for hours and then immediately purging, exercising, and taking excessive amounts of laxatives for days as punishment. Portia’s road to recovery started when she blacked out in 2000 and came to an end after meeting wife Ellen DeGeneres. Portia says it was Ellen’s love for the person inside her that got the actress to happily accept her weight and sexuality.
  • The other celeb scribe People focuses on this week is Ricky Martin and his memoir, Me. Martin opens up about coming out as gay man seven months ago. Ricky reveals that he has a new love interest that he sees as a “soulmate,” but won’t reveal him publicly until they are both ready for the tabloid onslaught that would follow. The singer opens up about past romantic interests, including his first girlfriends and the secret male lover he met while on “General Hospital.” Martin says that he was ready to come out during this relationship in the ’90s, but that his lover convinced him otherwise. Now over a decade later, all of Martin’s love is focused on his two kids, Mateo and Valentino, who were born via a surrogate. The twins also helped Martin accept who he is and feel confident about publicly coming out this year.
  • Taking a sharp turn away from books, People asks if Charlie Sheen “Out of Control?” I think we can all answer yes to this tabloid conjecture, unless tearing apart hotel rooms and hiding hookers in the closet is normal. Anyways, the mag rehashes Sheen’s past few rough weeks, which included The Plaza Hotel incident and announcing that he and wife Brooke Mueller are getting divorced. But while Charlie’s personal life seems to be in shambles, he is only getting praise professionally. Everyone at the set of “Two and Half Men” says that Sheen is on time, cleaned up, and ready to work no matter what has happened in the previous 24 hours. This has led friends to call Charlie a “talented train wreck.” Regardless of whether he is a good worker, everyone agreed that they would love to see Sheen sort out his demons once and for all. I suggest holding off on another wedding. [People]