I was very sad to read over the weekend that Lily Allen had a miscarriage six months into her pregnancy. Apparently, she felt stomach pains on Thursday and was rushed to the hospital, but doctors were unable to save the baby. Her rep put out a short and sweet statement: “It is with great sadness that we have to confirm that Lily Allen and Sam Cooper have lost their baby. The couple ask that their privacy be respected and that they be left alone at this deeply distressing time.”
We feel especially terrible for Lily because this is the second time she has miscarried. Two years ago, she and boyfriend Ed Simmons (of The Chemical Brothers) lost their baby, too. Lily had this to say about the experience:
It’s pretty hard to talk about it, but that Christmas I was at home with my family and Ed, and I wasn’t drinking, and I just sat there knowing I was having a baby and I was in absolute bliss. Sitting round eating turkey, playing games, watching everybody getting drunk, and being really excited knowing this time next year, I was going to have a baby. And I haven’t. … I guess it wasn’t to be. That’s all I can say. … Maybe if I’d stayed pregnant and had the baby then things would have worked out between me and Ed. I don’t know. You could drive yourself insane thinking about it. … I was really depressed because of the miscarriage and I’d kind of lost the plot a bit.
I think it is so brave and amazing for celebrities like Lily to open up about the pain of having a miscarriage. Recently, Mariah Carey said that it happened to her and Nick Cannon two years ago. “It kind of shook us both and took us into a place that was really dark and difficult,” she said. “When that happened … I wasn’t able to even talk to anybody about it. That was not easy.”
Miscarriage isn’t something we as a society talk a lot about, but the truth is that 10 to 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage—which means this is an ordeal that a huge number of women go through. It is tough on the body physically and can have a huge impact psychologically—from depression to the deterioration of relationships because people cope differently. Many women who have miscarriages describe feeling incredibly isolated, which is why I appreciate women like Celine Dion, Guiliana Rancic of E! News, and even my own mom for talking about it. It won’t flip a switch and make anyone’s darkest hour suddenly OK, but it will help women see that they are not alone.