Relationships: not easy to have, but certainly easy to have an opinion on. We’ve all been given advice on how to make a relationship work, but some advice is better than others, at least according to therapist and relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch. Orbuch analyzed some of the most common relationship myths and came up with the top four worst relationship mythologies. At the top of the list? The idea that opposites attract. Because life isn’t a Paula Abdul video, superficial differences can be fine, but couples need to agree on basic life values. What else does Orbuch say you should watch out for? Having separate lives doesn’t necessarily keep a couple together in the long term. In fact, it’s interdependence and interconnectedness that keeps couples together. So parallel but separate lives shouldn’t necessarily be a goal. Strive for independence and togetherness.
Another myth: A perfect relationship means there’s no conflict. If you’re not having any conflict in your relationship, says Orbuch, it may mean you’re not communicating at all. And that could spell bigger problems.
Orbuch’s final piece of advice: Talking about it doesn’t always make it better. Sometimes, she says, you need to let it go, because spending too much time analyzing and exploring the relationship could lead to one or both partners feeling stressed, blamed and distressed.
What do you think? What’s the biggest mistake people make in a relationship? Is it one of Orbuch’s myths, or has she totally missed the mark? [Huffington Post]