Don’t Call Your Significant Other By A Pet Name And Other Ways You’re Undermining Your Relationship

In this interview on PJTV, Dr. Helen Smith interviews Maggie Arana and Julienne Davis, coauthors of Stop Calling Him Honey and Start Having Sex: How Changing Your Everyday Habits Will Make You Hot for Each Other All Over Again.

Prior to watching the video, I thought, Eh, another couple of broads with a relationship book, but what they’re saying is actually really interesting — and, I think, spot-on. While their book covers a range of relationship topics, the key issue alluded to in the title is that once you’re in a relationship, there are a constellation of activities in which we engage, some knowingly and some unknowingly, that actually serve to undermine the relationship. For example, calling your significant other by a pet name — say, “honey” or “my old man” — can desexualize your relationship and dehumanize your partner.

The duo also stresses just how key sex is in a relationship. We get so overwhelmed by kids, work, mortgages, Arana and Davis suggest, that sex gets lost in the shuffle, and a lack of sex, they indicate, may be the real reason behind our country’s high divorce rate. If you’re not having sex, you’re not “renewing your bond,” and the erosion of that bond is what leads to the gradual demise of the relationship.

Another bad habit couples adopt, they say: too much open toilet time. The ladies say you shouldn’t pee in front of your significant other because you shouldn’t let your partner see you in “that state.” Your partner should be seeing your private parts in the bedroom, not the bathroom, they assert. You may enjoy doing your duty with the door wide open, but you may not be fully comprehending the impact that sharing your bathroom activities has on your love life, which is, after all, supposed to be romantic.

In any case, it’s a really interesting interview. Head on over to PJTV to watch it, then come back here and tell us what you think in the comments.