Dear Wendy Updates: “Afraid Of Slipping Up” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Afraid of Slipping Up,” who was engaged to a man she adored, but had developed a crush on a colleague. After a few drinks at a work event, said colleague admitted he had feelings for her and tried to kiss her, prompting her to daydream about him incessantly over the next several weeks. After the jump, find out if she discovered a way to manage those daydreams or if she gave into temptation and got frisky with the work hottie.

Thanks so much for responding to my plea for advice. Since I felt like this was a “close call” and not a harmless crush, I didn’t feel comfortable talking about this subject with my friends or family, so I really appreciate your response, as well as the insight of those who left comments! Your visual about getting out of the way of a fast moving truck really helped, and I spent some time meditating on that scene, although I put a twist on it. Because I am in charge of my actions, I imagined that I was driving the truck that symbolized an affair, and that it was hurtling toward my fiance. The first thing I would do is slam on the brakes! Truly, no matter how persuasive the seduction, the choice to stray is mine. And I don’t want to, even if it means that I must stand my ground against a blitzkrieg of flattery and masculine charm.

I wanted to let you know as well that it is not possible for me to pass my colleague’s account to someone else at my company. I also think that he deserves another chance professionally, because he really is great to work with. However, now that I know that he + me + late night + cocktails = mega temptation and potential disaster, I can avoid that situation without sacrificing an excellent working relationship. For now, I have also been CCing my boss on all emails with him to give some oversight. That way our communication is strictly business.

For the record, this colleague did know that I am engaged, but I was certainly flirtatious. I think this was a good lesson that definitely put a scare in me about boundaries that should not be crossed. And with time and focus on my fiancé, the daydreaming has completely stopped. Instead, I have been daydreaming about my wedding and honeymoon, like I should be!! Thanks so much again — Afraid of Slipping Up

Thanks for the update! Have fun daydreaming about your wedding and honeymoon (and marriage afterward!). As long as you keep focus where it should be, this can be such a wonderful, amazing time in your life. Enjoy!

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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