“Black Marriage Negotiations” Video Perpetuates Stereotypes About Black Women

Want a low-budget way to draw attention to your website with minimal effort on your part? It’s easy — be wildly offensive. A website called PhilosoG’s is behind this “Black Marriage Negotiations” video that slaps down black women and tells ‘em they wouldn’t be single if they weren’t so damn difficult. The black woman in this animated skit has a laundry list of impossible qualities she’s looking for in a man and she’s too picky — greedy, even — to realize an attractive, six-figure-earning black man is sitting right in front of her. Rose Afriyé at Feministing writes, “There are so many stereotypes about black women that this video affirms without providing any context, but perhaps the ones that sting the most are about sex and money.”

Indeed, the black woman in the skit wants to be treated as an “independent woman,” but says she needs a man to pay all the bills. She wants a man who can “take charge, lead and direct his household” at least until she disagrees with him and then she must “turn over his balls because I’m a strong professional woman.” For what it’s worth, a blogger at Essence.com writes that the man in the video seems “clueless to the point of condescending.”

Being made a caricature full of “it’s all about me!” demands would be offensive to any woman, frankly. And it should sting even more that women of one race alone are being singled out as too difficult to date. No one is disagreeing that modern day couples have many values — traditional and more progressive — to negotiate, or that black men and women have particular barriers in our culture. For example, according to the blog Black Voices, more than half of all black men in the U.S. don’t finish high school and six out 10 black men who drop out of high school have spent time in jail by their mid-30s. Those facts, however, are conveniently ignored. If you’re going to use race to say something degrading about women, you can’t rely on racist and sexist stereotypes instead of facts.

After thoroughly tarnishing black women, the video plugs PhilosoG’s radio show “to get empowered again after this beat down.” To which the woman replies, “Black men can’t handle a strong black woman!” Or … PhilsoG’s can’t get attention without racist publicity stunts.