Tonight on “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” Kim Zolciak performs “Tardy for the Party” in front of an enormo crowd. This video of her preparing to go on stage totally cracked me up, because it contains two wardrobe malfunctions. First, Kim’s boobs are totally popping out of her dress, requiring her stylist to add an around-the-neck strap (after she flashes him a few times), at which point—they’re still popping out. And then as she walks to the stage—eek—her skirt won’t stay down in the wind. Kim, if you’re so concerned about people seeing your business, I’m gonna suggest picking gig outfits with a touch more fabric. Just a thought.