Dear Wendy Updates: Long-Distance Lovesick Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from Long-Distance Lovesick, the young woman who was in a long-distance relationship with a guy in Germany whom she’d started out as pen pals with and had met only once when he came to see her over the summer. She was planning to move to Germany to be with him, but was concerned that by giving up her friends and social life to work two jobs to afford the move, she was the only person sacrificing for the relationship. She also mentioned that the only interaction they have is one hour a week on Skype and that he had only recently told his family about her. We all had some big words of warning for her. Did she take heed or is she still planning to move? Find out after the jump.

Okay, I have a few updates and clarifications I’d like to make: his mom knows me, talks to me, and loves me. And after I made it a point to tell him how I felt about letting her know about us, he did. She invited me to visit in March, and I will also be introduced to all of his friends then. He told me he felt awful for making me feel like he didn’t want people to know about me, and the only reason he wasn’t telling people is that he was afraid they wouldn’t believe that we could make such a long distance relationship work. Giving up school is NOT permanent, as I will be continuing at a university there. I also already have a job lined up and we have our living situation all figured out. ALSO: I wanted to move to Germany long before we met — meeting him only sped the process up.

And only speaking over Skype one hour a week is NOT a choice … it’s all we have. Our schedules conflict to a point where it’s nearly impossible to spend a lot of time together. And I found out that when he’s with his friends, he talks about me nonstop — I know for a fact because some of his friends have emailed me and told me that I’m all he can think about.

I apologize if this was important information that I accidentally skipped over.

I don’t know, LDL. I’d still be really leery of making that kind of move for someone I’d only interacted with one hour a week on Skype. How much can you really know about someone — and the way you relate to each other — with such limited time together? But it sounds like you’re determined to move, so it’s probably fruitless to try to deter you. I only hope you have a strong support system that can support you if things don’t work out as well as you hope.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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