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10 Politicians With Hilariously Terrible Names

Politicians are very serious people. I imagine a political career isn’t something that you can just fall into. It requires years of dedication, polo shirts and perhaps a stint at Georgetown. And I would imagine that when someone runs for government, they’ve been envisioning their campaign signs since birth. Or in Canadian politician Ian Cumming’s case, oodles of slogans like “Cumming with care for details” and “Cumming with concern for neighborhood safety.” But I feel like some politicians must know that their names will inevitably turn them into the butt of jokes. So to speed up the bullying process, we’ve rounded up 10 politicians with terrible names for your amusement.

  1. Butch Otter. Otter is the governor of Idaho and while “otter” might not be as funny as “beaver,” according to the Urban Dictionary, an otter is “a gay man who is very hairy all over his body, but is smaller in frame and weighs considerably less than a bear.” Which is way cuter and more hilarious, in the grand scheme of things. [Urban Dictionary]
  2. Norm Dicks. Dicks is a Washington Democratic Congressman and while there’s something really soothing about the name Norm, the context of Dicks throws that out the window. But I guess it’s still better than Abnormal Dicks?
  3. John A. Boehner. Boehner is a Congressman for Ohio’s 8th district and when researching him, one person detailed his desire for a “smaller sized package of perks for Congresspeople” and while reading that sentence, my mind kept inserting boners between every word. It’s terribly distracting.
  4. Dick Ball. Ball is running for Colorado state Senate this year and is (smartly) going by Rich Ball in his campaign efforts. Unfortunately, for someone with the sense of humor of a 13-year-old boy, Rich Ball is still pretty funny.
  5. Mike Crapo. Idaho Senator Crapo was elected to senate in 1998 and was re-elected, but apparently he received the lowest possible score for his voting record in 2006 by the League of Conservation Voters who didn’t think he was doing enough to protect the Idaho public lands. I guess they think he’s doing a crappy job?
  6. Tiny Kox. Kox is a Netherlands Social Party Senate member. I’m pretty sure that most Dutch people know enough English to find Tiny Kox funny. Hopefully, in his case it’s a misnomer.
  7. Dick Armey. Armey was the U.S. House Majority Leader from 1995-2003 and was a Texas Congressman for nearly 20 years before that. He once said, “Yes, I am Dick Armey. And if there is a dick army, [openly gay Congressman] Barney Frank would want to join up.” So, at least the humor of his name isn’t lost on him? [NNDB]
  8. Young Boozer. Boozer is currently running for Alabama state treasurer and the best thing about his campaign website is that there’s a page called “My Name” where he announces that Young Boozer is indeed his real name. As if you can make that kind of thing up. I wonder though—what’s his stand on underage drinking?
  9. Kinky Friedman. With a name like Kinky, you’d think he would have become a porn star, but instead he ran for Governor of Texas in 2006 in the Independent party. He placed 4th out of the 6th candidates. Well, at least he’s got a possible fallback career?
  10. Dick Swett. Mr. Swett was the U.S. Ambassador to Denmark from 1998-2001. The visual of dick sweat is just too much for me. But by this point, I’m really curious about how many boys named Richard decide to run for political office and, perhaps more importantly, why the hell Dick is a nickname for Richard in the first place?!
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