Every day closer to Halloween is another day that I avoid the candy aisles at the drug store so that I don’t end up passed out in a bed of 600 tiny wrappers, drooling chocolate. If you’re suffering from a similar pattern, there’s nowhere better to hide than a movie theater. But they’ve got candy there, you say? Well, hopefully that 400 percent mark-up is enough to deter you. With the exception of “Jackass 3D,” this week brought some pretty heady films to the table and, for the first time in weeks, no horror movies! So go forth and watch.
The Movie: “Red”
The Trailer: Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) comes out of retirement from the CIA after he realizes a task force has been sent to kill him. He brings his lady friend (Mary-Louise Parker) and rounds up his old gang, including the likes of Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren. So, it’s them against the whole CIA.
The Hitch: I’ve got to say, that is one awesome trailer, even though Entertainment Weekly calls the movie a “111-minute excuse to give Helen Mirren a machine gun.” Is it wrong that I would totally sit through 111 minutes of a movie to see Mirren unload that machine gun? [EW]
The Movie: “Hereafter”
The Trailer: George (Matt Damon) is a psychic who can communicate with those who’ve died by holding the hands of the people who are missing them. George, however, wants to be normal and tries to ignore his powers and takes a factory job in San Francisco. But George is destined to meet (and help) French journalist Marie (Cécile de France) who nearly drowns in an Indonesian tsunami and a London boy named Marcus, whose twin brother died in a car crash.
The Hitch: It’s Damon and Clint Eastwood‘s first venture together since “Invictus,” and this time, Matt talks to dead people. The imagery of the trailer is stunning and it’s interesting to see Damon play a melancholy hermit of sorts.
The Movie: “Conviction”
The Trailer: After her brother Kenny (Sam Rockwell) is sentenced to life in jail for a murder Betty Anne Waters (Hilary Swank) believes he didn’t commit, she spends 18 years getting her GED, college degree and law degree in order to become his lawyer. All her hard work and the availability of technology that didn’t exist at the time of the first movie paid off in the end.
The Hitch: It’s kind of amazing how Hilary Swank always scores these epic, hero journey movies. And it’s amazing that this is a true story. Not to say that I wouldn’t spend 18 years trying to get my brother out of prison, but I wouldn’t spend 18 years trying to get my brother out of prison. Would you?
The Movie: “Jackass 3D”
The Trailer: The whole gang is back with a new slew of “don’t try this at home” stunts that will inevitably cause them a world of pain. And this time, you can see it in 3D if your pain tolerance and capacity for empathy is particularly low.
The Hitch: There is really no good reason for this to exist, aside from the fact that it can. It’s just as mind-numbing and “no they didn’t!” as before, only now it’s in 3D. But admit it — haven’t you missed Johnny Knoxville just a little?
The Movie: “Marwencol”
The Trailer: A documentary following a man who suffered brain damage after a brutal beating and has spent his time building a fictional WWII-era Belgian town complete with props and dolls that represent real people in his life. He photographs scenes and essentially lives through his town of Marwencol.
The Hitch: This looks pretty amazing. I suppose if something awful happens to someone, them turning their life into a giant art project is a pretty good outcome. I can’t get the image of the soldier reclining with a teddy bear and a cigarette out of my mind.
The Movie: “Carlos”
The Trailer: Carlos the Jackal (Édgar Ramírez) was a Venezuelan-born Marxist terrorist who avoided capture between 1974 and1994 by living several different lives and using several different pseudonyms along the way.
The Hitch: The only issue with this movie is that it’s been broken into three parts, so you’ll have to catch all three movies for the full story. I feel like they could have condensed it a bit and saved us two trips. Otherwise, Carlos is pretty sexy and with all the traveling, even with three movies, it’s cheaper than a trip around the world.