We were shocked and awed to learn that comedienne Fran Drescher will be launching her own hour-long talk show on Fox after Thanksgiving. It’s not that Fran’s not funny (I mean, what’s not to love about “The Nanny”?) — and her story of beating uterine cancer is inspiring. But, really, who wants to listen to Drescher’s nasal tone and snorty laugh for an hour?
We would like to appeal to Fox’s head honchos to please not make this a reality. Instead, after the jump, we offer 8 other potential talk show hosts who are less nasal and more crazy than Fran.
|NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak
NeNe could boss us around anytime. She’s brash, bold and has a fabulous haircut. Plus, we’d love to watch her eviscerate guests on the regular. Alternately, Kim Z. is just the right amount of crazycakes to balance out all of NeNe’s sense-making.
Did you know that Coolio has his own cooking show (Warning: swears!)? And, that Coolio’s Emeril-style catchphrase on his cooking show is “Shaka Zulu”? Everybody knows that a cooking show is just one couch and coffee table away from a talk show anyway.
What America needs is less of this pussyfooting-around business, and more of that good God, you’re a handsome man, Jon Hamm business.
Honestly, we’d watch 10 HOURS of Dina Lohan’s delusional trainwreckeration. Considering she already calls herself “White Oprah,” she should definitely have her own gab fest.
|Jaleel White as Urkel
You want a talk show host with an annoying voice? We give you Urkel. Every interview segment begins and ends with Urkel’s terrible signature catchphrase, “Did I do that?”
Well, as long as we’re giving out talk shows to ’90s sitcom stars, why not hand one over to Rachel Green from “Friends”? Discussion topics include: ex-boyfriends, babies and David Schwimmer’s hair.
Hey, if Fran Fine can get a talk show, then her boss Maxwell Sheffield (played by Charles Shaughnessy) should have one, too.