Dear Michael Kors,
When I go shopping, I tend to channel a raccoon—I’m instantly attracted to anything shiny, sparkly, or fishy.
This means that I have a closet full of sequined miniskirts and silver boleros and earrings shaped like salmon fillets. I’ll go to the store with every intention of purchasing simple black trousers, but within seconds I’ve been seduced by the flashy racks of ridiculous trend pieces and I end up buying gold lamé harem pants instead. I have a really hard time buying sensible clothes.
The reason I’m writing to you, Michael, is that when I got my first office job, I was forced to buy some office-appropriate clothing, and fast. I went to Filene’s Basement, found the MICHAEL by Michael Kors section and was able to stock up on some chic basics for about half the price of trendy gold harem pants.
Today I worship you as my personal lord and savior.
I’m sure it would be more fun to be one of those designers churning out sequined cropped vests every season, and I’m not saying you don’t have fun with your pieces—you do—but mixed in with those sequin vests I can always rely on you for well-made pencil skirts (like the one below for $41.70), simple blouses, and blazers.
So Michael, thank you for helping me fool the world into thinking I am a young professional instead of an impulsive raccoon. It is greatly appreciated.
P.S. Look for MICHAEL by Michael Kors pieces at discount stores like TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Filene’s Basement and Nordstrom Rack to pay about half price.