I get very nice mail from readers (thank you!), every once in a while I get pretty awful mail, and sometimes I get mail like the following letter, which just makes me scratch my head and say, “Huh?”
Subject: Compliments on “Padded Underwear Gives Men A Bigger Bulge“
…but you’re too cynical. For years we men have stood by and watched as women have advanced on the territory we thought was our own – going to the best colleges, getting prestigious and high paying jobs, owning big houses, driving cool cars. Now it’s our turn to take some of the ground that your side has held. So look out world – dyed hair, plastic surgery, and hair plugs were only the first steps. Padded underwear is next. We’ll know that we’ve arrived at true equality when men begin anxiously asking their wives and girlfriends whether their butt looks too big. All best. xxxx
Geez, I hope it didn’t put you out too much while you stood by and watched as generations of women fought with all their might to break down barriers aimed at keeping them barefoot in the kitchen and not in good schools, prestigious jobs, and “big homes” of their very own. You may feel we’ve reached equality when you and your bros start asking your wives whether your butts look too big, but we’ll feel we’ve reached equality when we’re finally earning equal pay for equal work, we’re equally represented in government offices, we no longer experience gender discrimination or sexual harassment in or out of the workplace, we have full control over decisions regarding our bodies and reproductive rights, domestic work is shared equally between genders, paid parental leave is guaranteed for federal employees with new children, and no woman ever again is the victim of sexual assault, domestic violence, or a gender hate crime. Also, when the number of women’s bathrooms in public buildings increases.