Dear Wendy Updates: “Hotter Now” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Hotter Now,” whose boyfriend was jealous after she dropped 30 pounds and grew her hair out. “He constantly worries that people wonder why I’m with him,” she wrote. “On top of that, I’ve started getting a lot of unsolicited male attention—not just the typical cat callers, but being checked out, smiled/waved at, etc, which makes my boyfriend sad and mopey.” So, is he still acting mopey or did he “shape up”? Are they still together? Find out after the jump.

“The issues that were going when I wrote the letter have resolved. After he tried to get me to not wear a dress because it made me look “too curvy,” I sat him down and asked him point blank why he was acting that way. His first issue was that my big change made him feel really crappy about himself (which I already knew to some extent). Apparently, a couple of his douchey “friends” had started ribbing on him about me being out of his league, that he was a fat slob, I’d leave him for someone hotter, etc., etc. This was compounded when he was at a party without me and overheard a couple of these idiots discussing my body and what they wanted to do to me. (Thankfully, he’s cut these guys out of his life). Combined with the amount of attention men have been giving me even when I’m with him, he started to develop a complex about it.

After listening to him, I told him that I loved him more than anything and couldn’t imagine being with anyone else (both true). Before he had started behaving so bizarrely, we had been talking about moving in and getting engaged. I made sure to mention this to him — that I still wanted these things, but only if he would stop being controlling, and try as hard as he could not to get jealous since leaving him is the last thing on my mind. Things have been much better and we’re seriously considering moving in together this January when our leases are up. Thanks for your help!”

Oh, good! Glad to hear you spoke up for yourself and things have improved. You’re boyfriend’s lucky to have you! And it sounds like you feel the same about him.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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