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Cheat Sheet: How To Bag A Motorcycle Man

Welcome to Cheat Sheet, our once in a while guide to how to get the dude you want. Look, we know you don’t really need our help, but we thought you might enjoy our handy list of tongue-in-cheek dating dos and don’ts anyway. First up: How to get a motorcycle guy.

The elusive motorcycle man — he’s a loner, a rebel, and a seriously hot dude. Not sure how to approach? We’ve got some tips for you, courtesy our smokin’ hot friend Dan. Dan, a photographer by day, owns and rides a fleet of vintage cycles and is seriously steeped in the cycling world — as in, his idea of fun is motorcycling from Mexico to Canada and back. He gave us a list of what girls should say and do if they want to get with a Harley Davidson lover. So grab a ride and find the motorcycle man of your dreams. Next stop: your own personal Steve McQueen.

After the jump, check out Dan’s helpful tips…

  1. Hop on back. Take the back seat approach. Chances are, if the guy likes bikes he’s a man’s man and doesn’t want to compete with your knowledge of pounding pistons.
  2. Jesse James is off-limits. Don’t ever bring up Jesse James, unless your man’s full-time job is spent in the dentist’s chair, in depositions, or some other profession that requires a Ph.D. James is the Captain D-Bag of the motorcycle world—lame.
  3. No revving. The fake revving of a motorcycle is like playing air guitar. Don’t do it.
  4. BYOH. Bring your own helmet. If you’ve made it far enough to earn a ride on the back, show up with a vintage open face helmet and a nice pair of sunglasses.
  5. Scooters suck. A “scooter” is not a motorcycle but if you’re inspired to ride, pick up a vintage Vespa or Puch.
  6. No tricks. Unless he’s a pro, don’t ask him to do a burnout or ride a wheelie, especially with you on the back.
  7. Crashes are akin to fishing stories. Ask about it and expect a tall tale.
  8. Don’t touch. Just like you, a bike is a delicate machine so ask permission before you poke around.
  9. His bike comes first. Asking your man to sell his bike would be like him asking you to sell your shoes.
  10. Treat his baby well. Complement his machine. “Nice bike!” will do.
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