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Snooki Is Writing A Book! 8 Concepts She Should Consider

A few months back, our dear Snooki tweeted, “I have mind blowing news! I am officially reading my first book! Lmao! Nicholas Sparks ‘dear John!’ … I’m proud of myself.” But now, our favorite lady from “Jersey Shore” has graduated from reading books to writing them. Snooki will be releasing her first book in January, via publisher Simon & Schuster, who we hope have very patient copy editors on staff considering the grammatical atrocities of the tweet above. It’s called A Shore Thing and it’s a novel about a “girl looking for love on the boardwalk.” In other words, it’s thinly veiled fiction. And sounds totally boring.

After the jump, eight book concepts we think would’ve been a little better for Snooks. Perhaps her follow-up?

  • Baked: The Social History Of Tanning
  • Romeo And The Guidette. A Retelling of Shakespeare’s classic starring Snooki. The poison that kills her in the end: alcohol poisoning.
  • 101 Things To Do In A Hot Tub
  • Dill-licious: The Ultimate Guide To Pickles
  • My Hair Is A Tease, But I’m Not: Staying Klassy At The Shore And Beyond
  • Shoving A Watermelon In A Pinhole: Snooki’s Guide To Sex
  • My Life in Orange: How To Get The Oompah-Loompah Look
  • A Guide to Gorilla Juice Heads. How to spot one, land one, date one. Because it’s really everyone’s dream

What book would you like Snooki to write?

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