Don Draper’s Just Like All The Rest Of Them

Gah, Don Draper — we’ve dated guys like you a zillion times before. On last night’s episode of “Mad Men,” Don revealed some of his deepest, darkest secrets to his new main squeeze, Dr. Hot Lady Faye Miller. SPOILERS AFTER THE JUMP! After a prolonged nervous freak-out/panic attack, Don can’t keep it in anymore. He tells Faye that he’s tired of lying, and admits to her who he really is. But rather than freak out and make it all about her (we’re looking at you, Betty), Dr. Faye actually seems to understand and lend a sympathetic ear.

Which is good, right? Maybe this is the ushering in of an emotionally mature and responsive Don Draper. A new era of openness and honesty. Not so fast!

While Don initially seems to appreciate Faye’s sweetness and support, well, it was too good to be true. Toward the end of the episode, she comes to check on him at work and invites him out to eat. But he tells her he’s going to spend the night alone. OK, Don, sure! But then the last scene is a lingering long glance at his comely young secretary Megan. They’ve been building on this all season and now we’re getting an idea of why.

It’s never going to work out between Don and Faye — because she knows too much and that makes him feel vulnerable. So the only way Don can remedy these icky feelings is by schtupping his secretary. Hooking up with Megan will make him feel virile, in control, and unaffected by what Faye or anybody else thinks of him. It’s damage control the way only Don Draper can do it — and it’s reminiscent of the way we’ve been treated in past relationships before. As soon as someone’s admitted too much, they’ll do all the backpedaling they can to win back a power position.

Don, we see your bad behavior coming from a mile away. Faye, walk away now!