Jobs I Would Like To Have: Mini-Pony Shoe Designer

As I’ve mentioned before, my spirit animal is a mini-pony. There are two reasons for this: 1) They are super cute. 2) They are really short — and I’m really short, so I feel like we would get along. But! Aside from being my personal power animal, mini-ponies provide a valuable service to society — they are guide horses to the blind! That’s right, mini-ponies help fill the current shortage of guide animals. The Guide Horse Foundation of America can tell you everything you need to know about working with guide horses, including the fact that many of these darling mini-ponies opt to wear shoes on their tiny hooves for all the terrific work they do.
As such, there are a lot of mini-pony shoes to fill (!!!). So far, the shoesies come in two major styles — a sneaker-type shoe called a Reebuck (modeled by mini-pony guide horse Cuddles, above) and a cowboy boot, which we think is a little too much like wearing the clothing of your oppressor. It seems like there is still a lot of unexplored territory when it comes to mini-pony footwear. If I were a mini-pony shoe designer, I’d make a platform, a dress shoe, and a slip-on sandal, for when a mini-pony feels like keeping it casual.