Sometimes Guys Say The Strangest Things

I’m not even going to pretend that I understand the first thing about men. They remain a mystery to me and I have no choice but to love them for that. But every now and then they say stuff that truly baffles us. After the jump, Frisky staffers share the strangest things dudes have said to them. What were they thinking? If you have any insight, please offer your interpretations because we don’t have a clue. Or feel free to chime in with your own offerings.

“When I was in bed with a guy I had just hooked up with for the first time he told me, ‘My last girlfriend had a really banging body.’ And I want to know that because … ?”

“I want to lick your armpit.”

“A very close friend and lover once told me I had no ambition. At the time I was on bed rest after a major surgery, had suffered a breakdown my first year of college, and was extremely depressed. That guy is now a manager at Aeropostale and a college dropout.”

“You’re so pretty they should put a burqa on you.”

“Some guy asked me if he could cut me. What? I said no and hightailed it out of there.”

“If you lost 15 pounds, I would date you.”

“Once after sleeping with one of my first boyfriends, he said he had been thinking about Jared Leto the whole time … “

“A guy told me his ex-girlfriend had been raped by a stranger and still wanted to have sex, so why did I refuse to have sex? This was the same person who broke up with me on a boat.”

“At dinner for our one-year anniversary, an ex-boyfriend said that his vision for us in the future was ‘getting back together when we’re old and our spouses have died.’ Whack.”