The Bad Boyfriend Diaries

It’s time to talk about that awful guy you dated for way longer than you care to admit. We want the story. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’ve all done it. And I firmly believe that having a bad boyfriend is the key to appreciating a good one. After the jump, Frisky staffers open up about the bad boys from our dark pasts. We’re really, really happy these relationships are over. Your turn to share!

“Mine was a techie dude I dated when I was 21. I thought he was creepy for the longest time so obviously, it was a brilliant idea to date him. Let’s see, where to start? He would HANG UP THE PHONE on me if we fought. Who does that? Are we in middle school?!? He would punch the wall when he was angry. He once grabbed my hand in it and crunched it in his fist when he was upset. He earned four times as much money as I did ($80K versus $20K) and never offered to pay for anything for me when we went out. He criticized the TV shows and movies I liked to watch and in a douchey, not teasing, way. He told me I gained weight after we’d been dating a few months. He insulted my clothes all the time and we eventually broke up after we had a fight about a sweater I was wearing that he hated. He tried to weasel out of spending holidays at my parents house and always wanted to be with his family instead. He stuck up for my brother no matter what he did, despite the fact that my brother is a drug addict. And the piece de resistance: he wouldn’t introduce me to his mother or his brother. “

“My worst bad boyfriend was actually a guy I was super good friends with first. He begged me to date him, and I finally relented. But … he was terrible as a boyfriend. Really cold, but also demanding and judgmental. We broke up after I found an email he wrote about me (he left his email open on my computer), telling a friend of his “my girlfriend is a bad dresser with a stupid haircut who only eats junk food and is a bad lay that never wants to have sex.” Meanwhile, of course, he could barely get it up for longer than two minutes. For a long time, I felt totally humiliated by it, and then I realized that he should feel like a d**k, not me.”

“Mine was an alcoholic, bisexual rocker dude that I met when I was 18. We dated three separate times over the course of many years. Every time he was a complete jerk. I should have known better. Some of his finest moments included leaving me sitting outside of his apartment in a bad neighborhood until 3 a.m. because he was out getting drunk, standing me up one night after calling to tell me he was on the way but never showing up, and my favorite … when I was over at his place one night he was drunk and started throwing his furniture out of his 10th story window. We had sex and then he kicked me out afterward. He tried to apologize to me by buying me McDonald’s french fries. What a winner! No wonder I have post-traumatic dating syndrome.”

“Mine was the guy I dated when I was 22 or 23. In retrospect, the issue was that he just wasn’t that into me. Me now would have broken up with him after two months. Me then stayed with him for about a year and a half. The first problem—he would never have sex with me. Not once. In a year and a half. And yes, I begged. He was brought up Catholic and thought he’d wait until marriage. Only he didn’t—he had lost his virginity to the girlfriend before me and told me about having lots of sex with her. I guess he didn’t deem me worthy of being the second to experience his peen? He always said bizarre stuff to my friends and family and made me cry in public multiple times. He eventually broke up with me because he ‘wouldn’t jump off a cliff for me.’ I was devastated at the time, but really it was a blessing.”

“I dated this guy in college who showed up to my house in the middle of the night because he was running to evade the cops.”

“I had a boyfriend who prioritized playing group videogames like “World of Warcraft” with his friends before bed over having sex with me. While he played he would say stuff like “You’re getting raped!” and “I’m totally raping you!” He never kept soap in his bathtub. He was also the worst workaholic I’ve ever seen in my life. I mean, seriously, he was interviewed in the New York Times about being a workaholic once. Why I thought this made him boyfriend material was beyond me. He also dumped me by taking me out to dinner and then to a coffee shop before he said we should break up.”

OK, Frisky readers — fess up! Who’s the bad boyfriend in your past?