“Bridalplasty” Brides Plan Weddings And Compete For Plastic Surgery Prizes

E! has tapped into women’s two most important goals in life — looking pretty and getting hitched — for a new reality show called “Bridalplasty.” Wedding planning and plastic surgery, what more could a gal want? Brides will make a “wish list” of plastic surgery procedures they desire before the most important day of their lives. The winner of a wedding-themed challenge, like writing vows or planning a honeymoon, gets to choose one procedure from her wish list as her prize with the results revealed at the beginning of the next show. The lucky grooms of these well-balanced ladies will not see the results until they lift the veil at the altar right before they exchange “I dos!” Because, really, if a man is going to latch onto the ol’ ball-and-chain for life, at least it should be pert, unwrinkled, and incapable of displaying emotion? Amirite? The same plastic surgeon who exploited worked on the women of “The Swan,” (that show where women underwent radical plastic surgery head-to-toe) Terry Dubrow, will operate on the ladies of “Bridalplasty.” Shanna Moakler, ex-beauty pageant queen, Carrie Prejean-feuder and on-again-off-again wife of Blink 182’s Travis Barker, will host the show and guide the brides with all the wisdom she’s gleaned from her fabulous life choices. It should not surprise you that the producers of “Rock of Love,” that Bret Michaels dating show, are behind this one, too. Truly, “Bridalplasty” will show all American women that with a little flower-arranging and calligraphy skills and a lot of painful and invasive surgery, we, too, can be the “perfect bride.”

Stick a fork into Western civilization, because we’re done. [Oh No They Didn’t]