Dear Wendy Updates: “Wanting More” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Wanting More,” who connected with someone she met online and hoped to start a relationship with him. They had tons in common and she was spending a lot of time with him, but he told her he only wanted to be friends. “I don’t know what to do; do I hang out with him and get over my feelings? Do I give him and our friendship time to see if something develops?” she asked. I told her not to waste her time. “If you were fine being friends with the guy and harbored no hope for a relationship with him, I’d say there’s no harm in continuing to hang out with him. […] But the truth is that you do have feelings for him and they sure as s**t aren’t going to go away if you keep spending all your time with him.” So, did she take my advice or did she continue seeing him, hoping he’d eventually come around? Find out after the jump.

I read all of the comments after your response to my question… ALL of the comments. And, I decided to go with my gut and see what could happen with this guy. Well, things went downhill pretty quickly. Over Valentine’s Day weekend, he and I didn’t talk (obviously) and that Monday night he called me, a rarity since we usually just texted each other, and left me a voice mail asking how I was and that he wanted to hang out with me the following day before we had our scheduled lunch a few days after that. I saw him, and I did the lunch and I overanalyzed the voice mail with my friends for days until it drove me nuts. I finally decided I didn’t want to be the consolation prize; as Sally says to Harry, I wasn’t happy being the non-girlfriend only until he met someone he actually wanted to date. I told him I couldn’t be friends with him anymore. He sort of accepted that but we had to avoid each other on the bus and at work, since we saw each other about every other week. Unfortunately, I still look back on the situation and am totally baffled by his behavior in wanting to be friends with me, hang out with me so often but not date me. On the upside, I met someone about a month later who has become a wonderful friend and lately there seems to be the prospect of romance. Only time will tell!

Thanks for the advice–I should have taken it and I hope other girls read my story and relate and know it’s not their fault some guy didn’t like them. It was probably just the guy and his own crap getting in the way.

Thanks for the update! Glad you’ve moved on and are doing well.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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