Don Draper’s Secret Diary Entries

Don Draper — alpha male, top ad guy and … diary writer? We never imagined that Don Draper would do anything as sissified as keeping a journal, and yet, on last night’s episode of “Mad Men,” he did just that. I guess he and Angela Chase and Doogie Howser have something in common.

We’ve unearthed a few secret entries from Draper’s most private pages, and are sharing them with you after the jump.

Dear Diary,
Love these new wingtips from Florsheim. Would like to break them in by kicking Pete Campbell in the butt. Who does he think he is? There’s not enough Mountain Dew accounts in the world to make that guy not annoying. Seeing the kids this weekend: Sally cut her hair into a pageboy. She must love that Audrey Hepburn.
Best wishes,

Dear Diary,
I wonder if I have a drinking problem. Shall consider this over another glass or six of Scotch.
Yours truly,

Dear Diary,
Sterling Cooper Draper Price — should be Sterling POOPER Draper and Price. What does Burt Cooper do all day anyway? Unrelated: don’t know what to do about Sally. Caught by hot teacher Miss Farrell making her Barbie and Skipper dolls kiss. Betty blames me. Bitch.

Dear Diary,
I love a good back-of-the-cab BJ. Thank you, ’60s sexual revolution!
Time for a nap!

Dear Diary,
Everybody loves Paul, but Ringo is my favorite. I predict he’ll be the most successful Beatle. Sally badgering me for new Dusty Springfield 45.
El Drapo

Dear Diary,
Vietnam, shmietmam. We’ll be out of there in two months, tops. Reminder: look up word “quagmire.”
Peace, love, and understanding,

Dear Diary,
Sally’s birthday is coming up. She asked for some Joan Baez records and a softball. Kids today.