Trailer Park: “The Romantics,” “Resident Evil: Afterlife,” “I’m Still Here,” “Heartbreaker”
There’s something so magical about the week after long weekends. Like, when you wake up on Saturday, you feel like there’s another work day left but instead you get to do whatever the hell you want! And because there’s basically another weekend, a day early, you should reward yourself with a movie. This week’s movies include “The Romantics,” “Resident Evil: Afterlife,” “I’m Still Here,” “Heartbreaker,” “Expecting Mary,” “Lovely Still,” and “Virginity Hit.”
The Movie: “The Romantics”
The Trailer: A group of friends call themselves “the romantics,” based on their intertwined relationships, and they gather to witness the union of two of their own. Laura (Katie Holmes) is the maid of honor to her friend Lila (Anna Paquin) who is marrying the man they’ve both loved, Tom (Josh Duhamel). Sneakiness ensues.
The Pitch: It’s based on a supposedly lovely novel by producer/director/novelist Galt Niederhoffer and it’s the first movie Katie Holmes has been in for a super long time.
The Movie: “Resident Evil: Afterlife”
The Trailer: The world is still being taken over by a virus which turns its victims into the Undead. Alice (Milla Jovovich) looks for survivors to bring to safety. They believe that Los Angeles is a safe haven but when they get there, it’s overrun by Undead.
The Pitch: I suppose if you’ve been keeping up with the “Resident Evil” franchise, this is probably a momentous occasion. But the trailer just made me antsy and reminded me that Milla Jovovich is much too pretty.
The Movie: “I’m Still Here”
The Trailer: It’s been exactly two years since Joaquin Phoenix “retired” from film to become a hip-hop musician … or something. And this documentary-style study marks Casey Affleck’s directorial debut as he follows Joaquin’s struggle to deal with the past and questions his future path.
The Pitch: I really have no idea whether or not to recommend this movie. Mostly, I think we’re all just wondering what the hell is going on with Joaquin! And if your curiosity has gotten the best of you like mine has, you’ll probably want to be there too.
The Movie: “Heartbreaker”
The Trailer: A suave ladies’ man (Romain Duris) gets hired by family, friends and jealous lovers to break up relationships. But his newest mark, Juliette (Vanessa Paradis), causes him to break all his own rules when he falls for her.
The Pitch: Even though this has been done before, it’s the first time the formula has featured Johnny Depp’s life partner, Vanessa Paradis! Plus, romance just seems to work a little better in French.
The Movie: “Expecting Mary”
The Trailer: Mary had a relatively prosperous upbringing, but when she gets pregnant and hitchhikes, she lands in a tiny trailer park town in New Mexico and meets a slew of local characters who teach her a thing or two.
The Pitch: It might be reminiscent of that movie where a pregnant Natalie Portman moves into a small-town WalMart, but this time it’s in New Mexico, so it will probably be quite a bit weirder/better. We don’t call it the land of entrapment for nothing.
The Movie: “Lovely Still”
The Trailer: Christmas is coming up and Robert Malone (Martin Landau) comes home from his grocery store job and finds a stranger (Ellen Burstyn) outside. The acquaintance very quickly evolves into a romance. Their young friends (Adam Scott and Elizabeth Banks) watch on as the elderly couple finds love.
The Pitch: It’s always comforting to think that there is always time to find love, no matter how old you are. And the original soundtrack by Conor Oberst and Nate Walcott and Mike Mogis of Bright Eyes sure as hell doesn’t hurt!
The Movie: “The Virginity Hit”
The Trailer: Four teenagers with one camera chronicle their buddy’s quest to lose his virginity with his girlfriend. But this is the future, so there is the additional embarrassment that the internet can provide to such an occasion.
The Pitch: It may appear to be some hooligans with a camera, but this comedy is produced by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay of Funny or Die, so it’s guaranteed a few extra laughs.