So, Danielle Staub is off “The Real Housewives of New Jersey.” But she is not out of our lives forever. As Danielle tells it, “I’ve been approached by some very large networks and production companies that are very happy to try to steal me away from Bravo. I’m keeping my options open now.” Oh, but that’s not all she has to say. “I think people who want to see more of me might be careful what they wish for. There’s a lot more of me to come! I’m the Susan Lucci of reality TV.” True dat? [People]
Ooh! Ooh! We’ve got some ideas for Danielle. After the jump, 13 shows we’d love to see her star in.
- “Who Wants To Date A Prostitution Whore?” Twenty men live in a house, competing to win the love of Danielle Staub. Danielle describes all the dates in graphic detail to her two daughters, who will help her choose their new daddy in the end.
- “Just Staub Me.” A sitcom where Danielle works at a fictional magazine with David Spade.
- “Danielle Staub Talent Agency.” A series following Danielle as she open up a talent agency. Hey, Janice Dickinson did it. Danielle will recruit (pole) dancers, Christine will give runway lessons for models, and Jillian will help musicians craft perfect songs.
- “Love To Hate Me.” A “Survivor”-esque show with an island full of reality TV’s biggest psychos. Danielle would be the host of the competition to see who could stand being on a desert island with her the longest.
- “My Two Moms.” Danielle and Lori Michaels, as they raise Danielle’s two daughters together. Or maybe it’s called “The Real Staub Word” and is just about her new lesbian life in general?
- “The Stauby Life.” Danielle tries out different professions to see what she’ll do next. She’ll try everything from lawyer to clothing designer to garbage collector.
- “My New Skin Suit.” Women compete to be Danielle’s new bestie. Their willingness to be stalked and to listen for hours on end to psychobabble would both be essential.
- “Staub-er House.” Where Danielle Staub goes through intensive therapy with her daughters.
- “Danielle Plus 11.” Danielle adopts nine more kids, all from different countries à la Angelina Jolie, and lets the cameras in the house as she tries to mother them all.
- “Judge Danielle.” “Judge Judy” would pass the baton to Danielle, who would decide small claims cases brought by truly classy people.
- “Cop Without A Badge.” Hey, it is actually being made into a TV show. Maybe Danielle can snag the role of herself?
- “Revenge Room.” Danielle works with a different wronged woman each week, indulging her most paranoid fantasies, and helping her exact the perfect revenge on former friends who are now after her. Danny is available for physical assaults. And 911 will be dialed often.
- “Strippers Stripped.” A reality series following a group of strippers at a New Jersey club, and their den mother—Danielle, of course. She recently threw her birthday party at Scores because, “it’s a comfort zone to me.”