In her Vanity Fair cover story, Lindsay Lohan claimed that she is a changed woman. We want to believe her. But in the week since she’s been released from rehab—where she was sent after doing a stint in jail—there’s not a whole lot of evidence that points in that direction. On Saturday, she was back at her old haunt, the bar at the Chateau Marmont, which doesn’t seem like the best choice of venue. It also probably doesn’t help that in the movie “Machete,” which opens this week, she appears naked, has a threesome with her mother (egads), and goes to a drug den.
And today comes a new report. Lindsay allegedly tapped a baby carriage with her Maserati and kept going, even though there was a baby in the stroller at the time. Lindsay said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” when Radar asked her about the incident, so it’s possible this story is sketchy. But according to witnesses, Lindsay came out of a parking garage and only paused at a red light. “There was a woman pushing a kid in the stroller, maybe a two or three-year-old, crossing the street,” said the witness. “Lindsay took the red light and hit the stroller. It wasn’t super hard, but she made impact and hit them. Lindsay pulled to the right, stopped for two seconds, and then just kept going. I’m 100 percent sure Lindsay was driving because I saw her with my own eyes.”
Meanwhile, Lindsay has apparently hired Larry Rudolph, the manager credited with turning Britney Spears‘ career around after her meltdown. Can he do the same for Lindsay? The Vanity Fair interview was a step in the right direction, but she’s going to have to do a lot more to ditch her bad girl rep. We suggest she:
- Start a charity. Preferably one that benefits kids.
- Throw herself into a super benign hobby. Perhaps knitting or shuffleboard? Or maybe become a pastry chef.
- Avoid all places where alcohol is served. Because duh.
- Beware of what roles she takes. Playing Linda Lovelace of “Deep Throat” fame doesn’t exactly scream “untroubled youth.” She needs something fun and light next.
- Give up her car keys. Homegirl should really get a driver for the next year. Last thing we need is her mowing someone down for real.
- Dye her hair red. She just seemed more wholesome that way.
- Ditch the duckface. She has it in every photo lately and it makes her look … angry. Smile, Lindsay.
Oh, and she should look at the life plans we’ve made for her. It could really make all the difference.