Snooki’s New Boyfriend Wants To Propose. Run, Snooki, Run!

We wanted to believe that Snooki’s new boyfriend, Jeff Miranda, was for real. We truly wanted him to adore our favorite pouf-wearing pickle-eater and not just be into her to make a name for himself. But a new interview with Miranda puts me even more in the camp of Do Not Trust Jeff. This week, he appears on the cover of Steppin’ Out magazine—the same rag that brought you this tragic Hailey Glassman cover. And in the interview, Jeff says that he wants to ask Snooki to marry him. On the cover of the mag, Jeff appears shirtless—tattoos blazing—in military garb. After all, he is an Iraq vet. In the image, Jeff is on one knee and the coverline reads, “Will you marry me?”

“I want us to be together forever. I could see us having children. I want to pop the question to her,” he says. “If we got married we would be the best parents around. She’s so loving and puts everyone else before her self. She’ll be a great mother … Once she deals with the shock I think they’ll say yes. I really do. In fact, I know she’ll say yes … I love her and want to be with her … I will never break her heart. She’s such a great girl. If people could see us together they would think we’re a match made in heaven.” [Radar]

Oh, PLEASE. If you remember correctly, this couple has been together for a whopping … two weeks. And it’s not like they were friends before—hey met at Karma while Snooki was conveniently being filmed for the next season of “Jersey Shore.” And you can say many things about Snooki—but that she’d be a great mother? Maybe 10 years from now, when the partying is out of her system.

Add this to the fact that Angelina blew the whistle on Jeff for hitting on her and other ladies of the “Jersey Shore” house before settling on Snooki. Angelina also claims that Jeff even called Snooki gross.

Even Jeff’s friends are suspect of his intentions in this relationship. And can we forget that he auditioned for the show and didn’t make the cut? And that he’s already done a ton of interviews since hooking up with Snooks?

It is so obvious what this guy wants. Snooki, dump him now. He’s a spoiled cucumber and you deserve the male equivalent of a fried pickle.