Dear Wendy Updates: “Pregnant And Terrified” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Pregnant and Terrified” whose booty call friend got her pregnant. She knew she wanted to get an abortion, but wasn’t sure she should tell her casual sex partner for fear of freaking him out or scaring him off. She also worried he’d be against abortion and would try to talk her out of terminating the pregnancy. I told her that scaring him shouldn’t be her concern and that “he’s as responsible for the pregnancy as you are so there’s no reason you should feel the need to sugar-coat the news or soften the shock.” I also told her to explain that she felt he deserved to know, but that it’s her body and she’s decided to get an abortion. So, did she tell him the news? Did he freak out or was he there for her? Find out after the jump.

Thank you for the great advice. It was great to get an outsider’s look on it. Also, interesting to read everyone’s suggestions and comments … And even the ones that jumped to conclusions. I didn’t add that my birth control failed but I am sure that is a whole other list of comments, of why or how, and I have no idea why it failed.

I had a lot going on in addition to dealing with an unwanted pregnancy. I was busy getting ready to move, going to grad school, and ending my first real job out of college. So, I sat my friend down and just told him, and he has been very caring and supportive. He offered to pay for half of the abortion. I felt like it was completely necessary to tell him—it was partially his fault and his problem too (which he agreed with). A fear I had was that he was going to be against abortion and get mad at me about it (which happened to my old roommate) but a large part of me was pretty sure he wasn’t going to go that route. Since I have a lot going on, he offered to help me pack and get my apartment fixed to show to subletters, so I would be less stressed this month. He has been very helpful throughout everything and I think it’s bringing us closer. He keeps making sure that I am OK and that I am taking care of my self. Even though I waited two weeks after I found out to tell him, it immediately felt great to have him there supporting me and helping out.

Glad to hear he was so supportive!

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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