Dear Wendy Updates: “Well-Matched” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Well-Matched,” who was concerned that her boyfriend of five months still frequently logged onto the dating site on which they met. She admitted that she, too, still had an active profile and logged in regularly to “window shop,” but couldn’t help worrying that while her intentions were innocent, her boyfriend’s may be less so. In my reply, I wondered why a couple of five months would still have active profiles on a dating site at all. “Are you into this guy enough to delete your profile and quit keeping an eye out for something better?” I wrote. “Because if you aren’t, you can’t very well question why your boyfriend isn’t ready to do the same.” So, was she ready to delete her profile? Did she finally ask her boyfriend to do the same?

Hey, Wendy, I’m “well-matched” from this April column. Thanks so much not only for your advice, but for the advice of all the commenters on the site. I realized that I was, in fact, holding my boyfriend to a double standard and I disabled my OKCupid profile the very next day. You all were right; if I was truly committed to the relationship, I wouldn’t have even been going on there as much to begin with. It took me a little bit of time to muster up the courage to ask my boyfriend about his profile being up (as many of you so aptly noted, I was scared of “ruining things” by saying something wrong), but once I did, he agreed that it was stupid to be hanging on to the site, and got rid of his profile as well. We’ve been together for eight months and counting and it’s such a relief to finally be 100 percent sure that neither of us is using the site anymore, even for a little “window shopping.” Thanks, again, for everything!

Isn’t it nice to see what a little good old-fashioned communication can do for a relationship? Thanks for your update, Well-Matched, and best of luck to you and your beau!

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”” title=””} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

Follow me on Twitter and get relationship tips and updates on new Dear Wendy columns!