Wanderlust: If You’re 300,000 Miles Away, Don’t Call Your New Man
It would be hard to find a more fitting pair than that of sex and travel. Here, one adventurer, who has kissed an uncounted number of men who don’t share her zip code, shares her experience combining the two through more than 30 countries for our “End of Summer Escapes” series.
Three years ago, I spent New Year’s in a Middle Eastern country with lots of Jewish people. While my mother was pressuring me to try and “find a nice Jewish boy” as I traipsed around the desert (looking dehydrated and sweaty), the guy I had started seeing a few weeks earlier was still at home in the States. I spent a significant part of the two-week trip trying to figure out whether I should call — shouldn’t I be allowed to wish him a Happy New Year?
My mind was spewing out a ton of reasons to pick up the phone and dial the number I’d written on a slip of paper and kept in my pocket, but I decided against it. I wasn’t ready to give up the power of seeming carefree and only slightly interested. And I didn’t want to scare him off just because I had a serious phone addiction. More importantly, I wanted to prevent myself from being hurt by first learning how he felt about me. So instead of wasting precious vacation time on a long distance conversation, I climbed hills, drank lots, and enjoyed the mud in the Dead Sea. By the end of my trip, I was so distracted that I didn’t even consider sending a one-line text.
But we’re not getting beehives at the beauty salons anymore, and playing hard to get isn’t the only tactic (even though we did date after I returned). For your convenience, I’ve broken down every possible travel scenario for you, because there’s nothing better than taking some real time to over analyze every new move you make with a guy you just started dating.
Off the continent?
Obviously keeping in touch when you’re dealing with completely different time zones is tough, so focus your attention on contacting those who really care about you and will smile when you call them at 5 a.m. (i.e., your mother).
Out of the country?
Out of the state?
Face it, there’s really no excuse to pretend like you’re out of touch – unless you’re doing something off the cell-phone map, like hiking. If he called you last, you’ve got total control.
Out of the area code?
If you’re in a nearby town, everything goes (in terms of phone calls of course). But don’t spend time dissecting your cutesy conversation or your friends may punch you. And don’t bring up the guy’s name in every sentence — especially if it’s really cheesy like Brad or Chad.
Unlike this handy guide, letting your new boy know that you’re thinking about him while away is not always simple. It gets tougher, when it comes to text messaging or Facebook-ing. Even if you were totally dazzled by him at home, remember that you just met and you should probably call your best friend five times before attempting to engage him in a conversation about how much money you paid to check your overstuffed suitcase. If you’ve convinced yourself that he’ll run away from the lack of attention – you’re wrong. When you’re out of town, there’s always an excuse to be made about how busy you’ve been the last few days. Drunk dialing counts against you too, so once you’re chugging those cocktails, make sure his number is out of sight. Basically, you should stay focused on your R&R. And don’t forget to send me a touristy-looking postcard.