HuffPo, John Mayer is putting you on blast! The prolific Twitter junkie and master of the guitar solo O-face has taken to his blog to slam the blog Huffington Post for printing a story that he calls “equal parts fabricated, cobbled together and misleading.” The story in question: “John Mayer & Jennifer Aniston BACK TOGETHER?” The HuffPo article contends that Mayer and Aniston might be back together based on some comments Mayer made at a recent concert. The problem, Mayer writes, is that Huffington Post took bits and pieces of various things he said over the course of an entire show and made it appear as if it was one statement.Mayer slams the blog, writing, “Huffington Post, this is reporting? How do you pay your writers now, in Silly Bandz? Do you meet your sources in a malt shoppe?” In their article, Huffington Post made their case that Mayer was giving Aniston a second chance based on this statement he allegedly gave at a concert in Los Angeles on Sunday:
“I believe in second chances!” he said. “You might have been a pain in the ass the last time around, but you can still start over again from home base. Next time you get a text from the one you love just text back ‘come over’ — no matter what happened in the past. If you really love someone, just tell them and be with them.”
All put together, I guess you could contend that Mayer was hinting at developments in his own life, although I don’t know why HuffPo immediately assumed he was talking about Aniston — what about Jessica “Sexual Napalm” Simpson? But that’s neither here nor there, because Mayer says HuffPo took a bunch of statements out of context and calls the blog “full of s**t.”
Let’s break it down: I don’t think I ever said “I believe in second chances!” but I can’t be 100 percent sure, as it’s possible I could have accidentally said something succinctly and to the point. The next sentence is from the song “Half of My Heart,” in reference to the idea that meeting new people allows for hiding old mistakes. (Well, for most people at least.) The sentence about texting comes from the show’s encore, “Edge of Desire,” in a moment of giving people permission not to beat themselves down for still wanting someone. Two sentences about different things at different points in a concert.
Mayer may have a point on the shabbiness of HuffPo’s reporting, but magazines like Star and In Touch report nonsense about him and celebs like him every week, so why pay special attention to HuffPo’s factual errors? That would be because HuffPo presents itself as something better, more serious, and higher-brow than supermarket tabloids. Mayer writes:
[Those magazines] aren’t concurrently writing pieces about Pat Tillman or WikiLeaks. Those other rags know who they are, and even if they’re obnoxious, I’d rather have to live with them because they (and the rest of the world) know where they stand, which doesn’t make them one tenth as dangerous as you are. You’re a stripper wearing reading glasses. Or maybe you’re an insolvent law student willing to dance for a few extra dollars. Either way, it’s uncomfortable to watch you try to wrap yourself around a pole when you have that C-Span scar.
Damn. Mayer be a douche, but he has a way with words. But what’s up with dissing strippers in the process? I suspect Mayer is a valued customer.