Team Edward or Team Jacob. “True Blood” and “The Vampire Diaries.” It’s clear that blood-sucking vampires are having a cultural moment. In fact, since the first “Twilight” movie was released in 2008, vampire-related products have grossed more than $7 billion worldwide. That’s a whole lot of blood at the bloodbank.
But “Twilight” and “True Blood” won’t be around forever (sad but true). So we’ve provided a list of several hot-to-trot contenders ready to replace the vampire craze with all the Burger King merchandising tie-ins your heart desires.
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Werewolves Pro: Werewolves are the obvious choice — they’re vicious (sexy!) and prowl around at night — just like vampires. Con: They’re really, really hairy and shed a lot. See also: Michael J. Fox in “Teen Wolf”; Benicio del Toro in “The Wolfman”; Joaquin Phoenix on a bad day. |
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Robots Pro: Studios can save lots of money by hiring just about anyone to be a robot actor. Con: Have you ever seen robots have sex? It’s not pretty. See also: R2D2 in “Star Wars”; your mom’s Roomba. |
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Centaurs Pro: Girls love guys — and horses. Con: You’re fantasizing about having sex with a horse. That’s gross. See also: The Old Spice guy before Isaiah Mustafa. |
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Mermen and Mermaids Pro: Great tie-ins for swimwear. Finally finding out how mer-people have sex. Con: Filming underwater is expensive. Fish are slippery. See also: Darryl Hannah in “Splash.” |
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Magicians Pro: Cool tricks. A glimpse into the seedy magician underworld. Con: Aren’t magicians just, like, low-grade sorcerers or something? See also: Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale in “The Prestige”; The Hip Hop Magician. |
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Witches and Warlocks Pro: Dabbling with the dark arts. Con: Stupid cloaks. See also: “The Craft,” any local Renaissance Faire. |
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Mummies Pro: Require lots of bandaging, which perfectly hides post-plastic surgery scars. Con: Mummies move really slowly, so how much action could actually happen? See also: This hilarious sorta NSFW mummy sketch from comedienne Lizzy Caplan. |
