How Dorky Boys Lose Their Virginity
Oh boy, guys. There’s a new movie coming out in September about a topic that’s never been explored onscreen before: teen boys losing their virginity!
“The Virginity Hit” stars a lovable dork who’s just dying to lose his V-card and … wait … you say this topic has been explored before? How many times in the past?
Ohhhh. Hmm. When I started to research teen sex comedies from the past 15 years for this post, I assumed I’d prove the following thesis: Movies where boys lose their virginity are all alike, and movies where girls lose their virginity are also all alike. But I actually proved myself wrong. It turns out, movies about girls who lose their V-card are pretty diverse. Boy virgins, though, are trapped in one particular holding pattern in sex comedies: the epic quest. When boys lose their virginity in movies, they’re embarrassed to be inexperienced — which is the whole motive behind their epic quest, of course. But luckily for them, two hours later there’s lots of cheering and back-slapping to be had.
First there was “Can’t Hardly Wait” (1998), in which a guy tries to lose his virginity before going to college. (Success.) “American Pie” (1999) about four dorky guys trying to lose their virginity at prom. (Success.) Then there was “Superbad” (2007) about three dorky guys trying to lose their virginity before they go to college. (Success.) And lastly there was “Youth In Revolt” (2009), about a boy who is trying to lose his virginity with one particular object of his lustful obsession. (Success. Again.)
Girl virgins usually have more complicated stories, although girls are the ones made to feel like sluts. In “Saved!” (2004), a pregnant girl at a Christian high school gets slut-shamed by all her peers. In “Cruel Intentions” (1999), popping the girl virgin’s cherry is the prize in a sick, twisted game. In “Clueless” (1995), Cher was mocked for being a “virgin who can’t drive.” “Easy A,” starring Emma Stone, is coming out soon and is literally based on The Scarlet Letter. Plus, the news hit today that none other than Miss Miley Cyrus is next up to lose her virginity onscreen, starring as Demi Moore’s daughter in “LOL: Laughing Out Loud.” According to a script seen by HollywoodLife.com, Miley will lose her virginity, smoke pot, get drunk, kiss two of her girlfriends on the lips and flash her mama her Brazilian wax (ummm?). At one point in the script, Demi even tells Miley: “You’re my daughter and I won’t let you turn into a porn star!” (This sounds priceless indeed.)
When it comes to teen boys and their virginity, why is it that Hollywood insists on telling the same story over and over again? Is it just because that narrative has proven itself to be profitable? I’m not saying flicks where girls lose their virginity onscreen are the ideal (especially since girls are the only ones getting slut-shamed). But with “The Virginity Hit” coming out soon, it’s clear that movies about boys losing their virginity are stuck on repeat.