Skinny Jeans Are The Downfall Of The American Man, Says Lady Who Needs A Hug

Sometimes I like to write in a dry style. When I do this, it’s amusing to read comments by commenters who don’t understand that I’m being sarcastic. So I hoped this op-ed which popped up in my Google alerts, “Skinny Jeans, John Wayne, And The Feminization Of America,” was also being very dry. But in fact this author, Jane Gilvary, is quite serious that men in skinny jeans are the downfall of America. How about this gem?

“… real men don’t wear skinny jeans. Real men also don’t wear V-neck tees, or accessorized scarves, and they avoid purple and pink like the plague. The mere idea of a pedicure or waxing makes a real man nauseous. If a woman hangs out with this kind of girly-man routinely, it’s only because she wants to share his wardrobe and his non-fat caramel macchiato.”

Well, menswear-as-womenswear is hot right now.Or check out this crazy excerpt:

“A woman can’t imagine a man reloading his double barrel shotgun or chopping wood when he’s donned in Donna Karan and drinking an Appletini. Men were meant to wear rugged Wranglers, leather jackets and boots, like they belong in a James Dean movie and not an episode of ‘Will & Grace.'”

Or this one (which is entertaining to me because the first characterization of men is almost an exact description of my dad):

“When did men in America go from being masculine steak-eating, plaid shirt wearing, Old Spice smelling, cigar smoking cowboys who like football, hunting, and Clint Eastwood movies to skinny jean-wearing, satchel-carrying, pierced ear metrosexuals who like chick flicks, ‘The View,’ and Bath & Bodyworks? The American man is an endangered species due in large part to the over-feminization of society.”

Can’t she just cut to the chase? What Jane Gilvary is really upset about is not the state of “maleness” in general, or even skinny jeans. She is upset by gay men. Every single thing she lists as not being something a “real man” enjoys is either stereotypically embraced by women or stereotypically embraced by gay men. I mean, appletinis and “Will & Grace”?

The author takes so many digs at “feminists” (apparently this means Jennifer Aniston, the movie “Juno,” and Maureen Dowd from The New York Times) that I know she’s trying to make people like me feel offended. You know, because of all that feminizing of the menfolk I’ve been doing! But really, I just feel sad for men when I read stuff like this that tells men I love they are not “real men” if they wear pink shirts or cry.

Even if this one author is just a nutter, she did at least touch upon the point that “masculinity” can be really strict on dudes. Feminism is really about loosening the gender roles for both men and women and letting people choose what they want to do or be without society dictating their choices for them. Who would have predicted that guys would be the ones whom this would be hard for?

There are so many easy spitballs to fling at this silly op-ed that it’s not even worth taking the time to debunk. If you need a laugh this afternoon, pull on your skinny jeans and pour yourself an appletini because it’s a must-read. And let’s hope she weighs in on babies in skinny jeans soon, too?

[The Bulletin]