9 Life Tips I’ll Pass Along To My Kids

Recently, a blogger pal of mine posted a few life tips, or “life hacks” as she calls them, that she’ll pass along to any potential offspring. Her tips included great advice, like, “Never take Tylenol while you’re still drunk,” “Peeing after sex helps prevent UTIs,” and “Never click on the last picture in an Us Magazine slide show, it’s just an ad.” Her awesome list got me thinking about what little tips I’ll pass along to my potential future offspring. Check out my list after the jump and add your own in the comments.

  1. Lotioning up immediately after a shower helps lock in the moisture and keeps your skin silky soft.
  2. Leave your tomatoes out of the refrigerator so they ripen fully and retain their flavor.
  3. Repeating a person’s name upon introduction will make it, like, 85% easier to remember it.
  4. Remember: you can only use the “My grandma died over the weekend” excuse twice.
  5. In a pinch, Bailey’s doubles quite well as creamer for your coffee.
  6. Always wear gloves when chopping a jalapeno pepper, but if you forget and end up burning yourself, rub your hands with olive oil.
  7. Parsley may make a good garnish, but it makes an even better breath “mint” after a meal.
  8. If you have a friend who always runs late, schedule your meet-ups a half-hour before you plan to arrive.
  9. The bathroom stall farthest from the door is usually the cleanest.