Dear Wendy Updates: “Orally Fixated” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Orally Fixated,” the woman whose boyfriend refused to brush his teeth. You remember her, don’t you? A lot of you, like me, were shocked that OF wasn’t demanding her boyfriend make oral hygiene a priority. “How do you stand kissing him?” I asked. After the jump, find out whether OF is still with her boyfriend and whether he’s brushing his chompers these days.

Not long ago, I wrote to you about the issue I had with my boyfriend’s dental hygiene. I should explain that the reason I know about his brushing habits are because we currently live together. I want to start off by saying that while I understand some people were disgusted by the thought of it, a lot of the comments seemed to indicate that I should have broken up with him because of this, or that it was a “dealbreaker.” I thought that seemed a little harsh, considering I mentioned we’d been together for a year, so we had built up a pretty solid relationship, and this wasn’t just someone I was casually dating.

Anyway, I made up my mind to tell him how I was feeling, and I wasn’t going to let him fight me back. When I explained to him that, although I knew that it hurt him to talk about just his mouth in general (he had been badly teased as a child when he had braces), I couldn’t watch him refuse to take care of himself, and that not doing so was honestly gross. I told him that it hurt me that he would be irresponsible that way. He understood, and said that he would do better, and he wouldn’t be irritated if I asked him about it or reminded him to brush his teeth. Shortly after, I was going to the store, and he even reminded me to pick him up a new toothbrush!

Your advice (and that of some of the commenters) was a little hard to swallow at first, but I realized that I wasn’t being fair to myself by letting this slide. Thank you so much!

Hey, we don’t just save relationships around here; we save teeth, too.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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