Dear Wendy Updates: “Platonic Friend” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from Platonic Friend whose male best friend confided he was in love with her despite both of them being in relationships with other people. Platonic Friend explained to him how much she loved her boyfriend, but was sad that he seemed to be fading out of her life since his confession. I told her she should probably be relying on her boyfriend a bit more for male friendship and let this other guy figure out what’s going on with him and his girlfriend. Did she listen to my advice? Are they still friends? Find out after the jump.

I wrote in about two months ago about my male best friend, who, after telling me he loved me, kind of disappeared. I realized that I was being a bit selfish in still wanting to be friends with this guy since it wasn’t really fair to him or my boyfriend. My boyfriend knew about the whole situation and said he didn’t feel threatened or really care that I still wanted to pursue a friendship with this guy but after reading all the comments, I began to feel that it wasn’t right or fair of me to do that so I stopped. I do want to clarify something, which I should have done in my letter, but my best friend was the one who made me promise to stay friends with him because he was afraid I’d get freaked out and ditch him. This is what led me to write the letter since I thought it was a bit odd that he stopped talking to me.

Right after I sent the letter, I met up with a friend of mine that used to be on good terms with my former best friend. I learned that he tends to date the crazy types of girls and leans heavily on his supportive female friends and tends to leech off of them and make their lives all about him. I found out that he did that to her and a few of my other good female friends that are no longer on good terms with him and I never knew why. So I guess in a way I kind of dodged a bullet with that friendship ending. I’ve definitely learned that I need to lean on my boyfriend a bit more and I’ve been working harder on doing that.

I have been doing really well with separating my friend out of my life but last week I ran into a dilemma. I was out with a few of my friends and I ran into his (long distance) girlfriend who was obviously on a date with another man (my other friends confirmed that she and my former friend are still together). I have been debating whether I should tell him about it but I think I have decided to just stay out of it. It’s not my place to tell him and I’m probably the last person on earth he wants to hear it from.

Thank you Wendy and Frisky commenters on all the help you’ve given me. It’s been much appreciated!

Thanks for the update! And, yes, I think you are wise to stay out of your former friend’s drama.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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