Dear Wendy Updates: “Expecting The Unexpected” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from Expecting the Unexpected who wrote to me back in May when she thought she might be pregnant with a former fling’s baby and planned to have an abortion. That former fling was suddenly interested in a friend of hers and she wasn’t sure whether she should tell him about her (probable) pregnancy and risk coming between him and her friend or not tell him at all. I advised her to first see a doctor and have her pregnancy confirmed and then decide for herself whether she thought the guy had a right to know what was going on. I also said that pregnant or not, she was already in a love triangle just by virtue of being friends with both her former fling and the girl he was now crushing on and she shouldn’t let that dissuade her from doing what she felt in her heart was right. So, did she tell him about the pregnancy? Did she end up having an abortion? How’s she doing today? Find out after the jump.

First of all, I want to say thank you so much for your advice as well as all the people who posted. It was one of the most confusing and scary experiences in my life and I needed someone to tell me to stop and think about how I felt instead of what everyone else would think. I had decided that I had a moral obligation to tell the guy, because if I were in his shoes I would want to know. I told him I had to talk to him, and that it was important, but he continually avoided me in order to spend time with the other girl in this love triangle. I gave it my best shot without sacrificing my own precious time needed to study for exams, but since he wasn’t willing to meet with me I ended up not telling him.

As for the pregnancy, I did get it confirmed and I scheduled an abortion the day before my last college final. However, five days before the appointment I spontaneously miscarried, which was kind of sad but also an incredible relief. I went to my follow-up appointment and I was given a clean bill of health, and then three days later I went and spent a month in Italy working on a farm for a school internship. The timing could not have been better. I got away from all my friends and family who I think would have pressed me to know what was wrong, and by the time I came back I felt like myself again. I have no regrets and I appreciated all the support and advice everyone offered me here at The Frisky.

What wonderful timing! I’m so glad you were able to get away this summer and clear your head and come back feeling like yourself again.

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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