Is Your Marriage Different Than Your Mother’s?

I was always pretty resistant to marriage, but—because I looked up to my mother so much, because we were so close, and because I felt that she presented to me such a healthy version of both motherhood and long-term love—I ached for a traditional family. Now I’m almost 30, I recently celebrated my three-year wedding anniversary, and my husband and I are trying to have children.

This worries me. He’s never home, I tell my mother. And when he is, he’s working. I flail my arms about in frustration. He’s not romantic. He doesn’t take risks. I think about the fact that I’m tied to this person forever. He’s always worrying about money, I tell my mother, and no matter how much he moves forward, I feel as if it will never be enough. He’s tied to his work, and I’m afraid he’ll always let his employers and clients walk all over him. I’m afraid his work will always come before our marriage. Read more

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