How To Be A Good Hookup
Just like tasting ice cream flavors, sampling sex with a new guy is what being young and single is all about. Sure, you can have your fun, but what do you do when the sun comes up? After a night of hot humpin’, it’s time to get back to your regular bump-and-grind. Here’s how to fulfill your contract after you’ve sealed the deal.
1. Set Your Alarm: Get up and out! Unless you know for sure that you’re going to do breakfast, beat the awkward morning-after by waking up before him. Just make sure you say goodbye (see below).
2. Seal It With A Kiss: Before you walk out the door, and potentially his life forever, get in one last kiss good bye — even if you regret the shag. If you don’t want to wake him up, you can just leave a thank-you note with a kiss print.
3. Keep Quiet: This tip is two-fold. When you’re sneaking out in the morning, don’t go making a lot of unnecessary noise. And also, when you’re telling your friends — especially mutual friends — be a lady. Sure, you can share the dirt with your bestie, but don’t go tellin’ the world about how he rocked or didn’t rock yours.
4. Take Out The Trash: Don’t leave a trail behind you. Throw out that water bottle you went through; pick up the condom wrapper; straighten up your side of the bed. Although, a good way to guarantee you’ll see him again (even if it’s uncomfortably forced) is to leave something strategically behind. Just make sure it’s an item you’re also OK with losing, like a headband.
5. Don’t Make Apologies: All is fair in love and war. Sometimes things move fast — go with it if it feels right or just say “no.” Do what and whom you want; that way there’s no reason for guilt. So, stop moaning! That is, unless it’s a “yes” kind of moan.
6. Fix-her Upper: Make sure you don’t leave looking like a busted ho. The walk of shame is difficult (and sobering) enough without scaring small children with your runny mascara. So wash your face, re-apply that lip gloss, slip on some sunglasses, and pull yourself and your outfit back together.