Dear Wendy Updates: “Poor House” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from Poor House, whose live-in boyfriend makes $15K more than she does, but refuses to contribute more to rent, limiting their housing options considerably. “I have asked him to consider contributing more for rent — not a lot, just a little more — and he kind of laughed at the suggestion and said, ‘I don’t think so.’ I wouldn’t even have asked him, but our lease is up soon, and all we’re finding to move into is sub-par.” She wondered if she should be concerned about his attitude or just “chalk it up to him wanting to save for their future.” So, did she get him to agree to contribute more to rent? Is she still concerned about his attitude? Find out after the jump.

Thank you for your good advice. We actually just had a talk, and good things came of it. My boyfriend explained that it wasn’t that he wouldn’t pay a little more, but just that he felt we would start living a lifestyle we couldn’t afford if we took our rental budget up a notch. I didn’t even really consider that before, but many of the places we were looking at (the ones that prompted the 50/50 split convo) would be an extra $300+ a month. We pay a very affordable rent right now that allows us to travel and pay down our debt, which my boyfriend explained is important for him in planning for our future. We both have student loans, and he told me he wants them gone before we have children. I also didn’t realize how much he was putting away out of his paycheck into savings for said future, which would be less each month if we paid a higher rent. Admittedly, sometimes I want to live a lifestyle that I can’t afford, and he keeps me in check, which I thanked him for. All-in-all, it was a great conversation, and I feel a lot more confident about our future.

Aw, the power of healthy communication! Good things can come from big talks. Glad to hear a positive outcome from Poor House!

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at {encode=”[email protected]” title=”[email protected]”} with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.

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