11 Elevator Styles: Which One Pushes Your Buttons?

Elevators: We have a love/hate relationship with them. They spare us the stress of taking the stairs in heels, and they get us where we need to go at the push of a button. Yet, there’s something about them we just can’t stand. Perhaps it’s the people we must share such a tiny space with? No one is completely comfortable in the confined cubicles, ourselves included. Call us picky, but sometimes, you just can’t win on a lift. Find out which elevator style really grinds your gears after the jump.

  1. The Awkward Conversationalist: It’s early in the morning, and you’re exhausted. This stranger is watching you sip your Starbucks. “Great weather today, isn’t it?” Mmm-hmm. Continue to focus on your coffee. “Wow, 39 floors in this building? That’s a lot!” Yep. You find yourself watching the numbers go up, praying for your floor to come sooner. This guy is creeping you out.
  2. The Button Pusher: Pick me, pick me! “Which floor? I got it.” Thanks, but who put you on button patrol? The button pusher is most likely a child eager to touch the magic buttons. We all have this urge sometimes. You might even feel compelled to press the same button over and over. Just so you know, it doesn’t make the lift go any faster.
  3. The Hummer: You’d almost prefer the Awkward Conversationalist to this guy. Tra la la la la, la la la la! Humming off-key to Christmas music in August doesn’t make the 47 second interaction any more bearable.
  4. The Uncomfortable Silencer: OK, now things are getting too quiet. Someone cough or clear their throat. Please! It’s getting creepy in this box.
  5. The Cell Phoner: “HELLO?! I’m in an elevator! I can’t hear you!” Well, we can. Save your conversation for later.
  6. The Claustrophobic: We’re all a little out of our comfort zones squished in such tiny spaces, but The Claustrophobic bounces around a little bit. He sweats nervously. Can’t handle your space issues? Take the stairs.
  7. The Inebriated One: All you want to do is get home, and the drunken idiots are getting rowdy, knocking into you or pushing every button just for kicks. Give us a break!
  8. The CEO or Editor-in-Chief: Ms. Corporate High And Mighty just walked in. She’s, like, a total celebrity. Do you introduce yourself? Become the Awkward Conversationalist? Could this be the big career break you’ve been waiting for? Oh, she just walked out. Bye?
  9. The Touchy-Feely Guy: The elevator is filled to capacity, but it’s not that full. You can feel the weirdo behind you breathing down your neck. Step off, fool.
  10. The Screaming Baby: Ugh.
  11. The Door Holder: This person is holding the door open for someone who will be there in just a second. Make that 30 seconds. Make that 10 minutes. Rude!
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