Things In His House That Make Me Sad: A Clackity Dell Desktop Computer

Welcome to “Things In His House That Make Me Sad,” a regular series from the blog Shmitten Kitten that we’ll be featuring on The Frisky, about the stuff seen in so many guys’ apartments that just make you shake your head and sigh.

Oh my God, I hate your computer. No one owns a Dell on purpose unless you’re an NYU student in 1997. Just typing my username into Gmail feels like I’m playing a sticky instrument. Ewwww!Does this piece of s**t only run Internet Explorer? What, do you have a Yahoo! toolbar too? I feel like I’m at a temp job using this thing. I’m trying to check my email and I keep getting these flashing alerts about Norton being expired. I hate this!

This must have been a hand-me-down from an uncle or something. Maybe it was swiped off a curb after someone tossed it. There’s no way that you walked into a store and willingly purchased this machine in the past five years. Tell me that you didn’t willingly purchase this.

Don’t give me that look. I’m not a computer snob, I swear. But, if the computer world were likened to transportation, using this computer feels like taking a Greyhound bus cross-county with no pee breaks allowed. It’s just gross.

Anna Goldfarb is the voice behind the hilarious blog Shmitten Kitten.

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